Thursday, January 29, 2009

Story Of My LIFE!!

Okay, so I heard perhaps the greatest new quote of all time in a movie preview the other day. Now, realize that I am NOT recommending the movie that the preview was about, but the quote was just so true that I had to share it. Also, you should note that this is the narration of MY LIFE! Ugh.

"So I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he emailed to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies!"
-Drew Barrymore in 'He's just not that into you'

I would laugh harder....if only it wasn't so true!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Short, Sweet And To The Point

Something that is short: Most of my mission companions
Something that is sweet: My Jerry Cherry Laffy Taffy
Something that is pointy: The teeth of my brother's comb
Well, there you have it. Short, sweet and to the point.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five."

Okay, so I have this coworker...(we shall refer to her throughout this post as: Nameless) who has a knack for bad luck. I just have to share some of her most recent quandaries.

Our company sent a bunch of us to A.C. Moore stores all across the East Coast the weekend before Christmas to demo the Cricut Expression Machine (If you don't know what that is...repent! But I'm warning you if you find out what it'll be addicted too!). Anyway, our flight schedule was supposed to go as follows:

Friday Morning - Fly to destination
Saturday - Demo machine
Sunday - Fly home

Well, Nameless got on her flight Friday morning. She demonstrated her machine on Saturday. She got ready to go to the airport Sunday...that's when the call came - "We're sorry to inform you that your flight has been canceled and the soonest available flight is Tuesday, December 23rd." Poor Nameless doesn't own a credit card, so she had to put all the extra hotel and car rental charges on her debit card...with no money left in her bank account and no freaking idea where she was, she spent the hours watching reruns of I love Lucy in her overheated hotel room - okay, so I'm not so sure about that...but I do know that she had done absolutely NO Christmas shopping before leaving on Friday and now that she had NO money left in her bank account could not even go Christmas shopping while stranded in NY!!

Tuesday the 23rd:
Nameless arises earlier than usual, throws her used linens in a heap on the hard hotel matress and grabs her bags to head to the airport and find her way back to civilization in UTAH! Once at the airport she approached the ticketing desk with a hopeful spring in her step..."We're sorry. All flights to Utah have been canceled until December 31st. You might want to call your hotel and make sure you still have a reservation." ... the hotel never got a call. But the head of the HR department surely did! And then the travel agency got a call! And 24 hours later...Nameless boarded a plane to somewhere that connected to a plane to somewhere else that flew to an airport where a plane was waiting to take Nameless back to SLC...Estimated arrival time: 8:00 pm Christmas Eve.

With her feet finally on good old Utah soil, she drove back to her apartment only to find she had been robbed.

The next week she had much better luck. She was getting ready for the epic trek to the office, got into her car, pushed the little button for the garage door to go up....pushed the littled button for the garage door to go didn't go up. She frantically called her boyfriend, who graciously came to the rescue. While braving the roads in the snow and ice, they had stopped at a red light when an occupied mother telling her children to 'stop it or I'll come back there!' smashed into the back of their truck going 40 MPH. Nameless found herself in the emergency room for whiplash thanks to that caring mother.

Oh, but it gets better...Nameless parked on the street in front of her house the next Friday. 45 minutes later, she came out and found that some loving person had imprinted their fourwheeler on her car - only causing $2,700 in damages!

Phew...I'm exhausted and depressed just telling the story! Nameless' theme song for 2009 is from Hee-Haws: "If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all!"

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Ridin' the Brain wave...

I was shopping for a good friend of is her birthday. I was having some difficulty deciding what to get her. After wandering aimlessly through Wal-Mart for over an hour, running into the same Sales Associates over and over (who may I add, begin to look at you strangely the fifth time you pass them with an empty shopping cart) it finally hit me! She is trying to lose weight and get into shape. So I bought her the most logical gift (mind you, not the first gift that came to mind when thinking of her diet: MOUNDS of chocolate to taunt her and test her dedication to the new diet thing) - I bought her an exercise ball and a pilates video. I wrote a little tag to go with it that said "I hope you 'AB' a great birthday!" I thought it was pretty punny...okay, enough already.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I did all this for posterity...

Alright, here's the first half of the 500 word personal history that I wrote while racing James in finishing his Duty To God assignment. I think it's amusing at least! For the second half, you'll have to go to the CreativeXpress community and look under blogs.

"I was born on April 17, 1985. I am the oldest child of Karen Denning and Lonnie Dale Cox. I honestly don’t remember too much of my childhood, I suspect I have some repressed memories. I have been told, however, that I was a rather intense child. I liked to be in the middle of everything and if there wasn’t something going on I created a fiasco to entertain myself. I never did like to be alone or play by myself – that hasn’t changed much over the years. I remember spending time at the Tessems house during the day. I always felt like a part of their family and learned many important things during the years they babysat me. I remember playing GI Joes with Scott and Troy – I was the caregiver to all the infants in the GI Joe nursery, which consisted of the heads the boys had blown off of their guys during mortal combat. I also remember starting kindergarten while I was at their house. Tiffany and Lance Feher came to be babysat by Sister Tessem as well and they added a great deal of fun and adventure to my time with the Tessems. We had good times building forts under the desk in the kitchen, listening to stories on cassette tapes and playing outside. Tiffany and I also took opportunity to hone our arson skills. Most days when playing outside we would create ‘special potions’ in the empty film canisters Sister Tessem would give us to play with. One day, Tiffany brought a pack of matches and I went into the bathroom and filled my jacket pockets with toilet paper. We got a pretty good little bonfire going there by the front corner of the garage. We tried to boil some of our ‘special potions’ in the flames, but it burned out too quickly – plus it was approaching time to go to school. It was Sister Tessem’s turn to drive carpool so the other kids in the neighborhood started showing up. I had hidden the large black soot mark on the concrete driveway with my backpack so I wouldn’t get caught. Tiffany and I showed the mark to a friend in the neighborhood as we were getting ready to go to school. As soon as I had taken my backpack off of the ground and gotten into the car, Sister Tessem noticed the burn mark and asked what had happened. Kenna (some friend) immediately spilled the beans that we had built a toilet paper fire there. Needless to say, we got burned! That was one of the last times I was babysat by the Tessem family. I am positive that there are still ‘special potions’ hidden in the rock wall along the street in front of the Tessem’s home. "

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Long, Long Time Ago...

So, it's been a couple of days since I talked with you silent audience. I decided that my blog will replace writing in my journal everyday...and I figure that if I keep the commitment to blog every day as well as I have kept the commitment to write in my journal every day, you might hear from me like once a millennium.

My entry for this millennium:
I was taking my laptop and assorted accessories (check out my alliteration skills) up to my room last night and I had a relapse to younger years. I suddenly had butter fingers and dropped my laptop. Fortunately I only killed it, didn't maime it or anything my wonderful Mom fixed it without having to open it and make my warranty void. (For those of you who are not aware...that's pretty much what my Mom does: Fix computers...only usually she fixes the kind that die of natural causes NOT the ones that die from association with clumsy people like me). Well, that's it - the highlight of my evening and the only insight to my riveting life you will get for the next 1,000 years.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Chocolate For Thought

I much prefer chocolate to food so I thought I'd offer up a little chocolate for thought ;)!

"Families are broken up because of distrust aroused by faults magnified and virtues overlooked." - Thorpe B. Isaacson

Friday, January 9, 2009

A Few of My Favorite Things

Alright, I jumped on the bandwagon. I'm officially accepting the 365 challenge. For those of you who are scrapbooking challenged - and that would be me - the 365 challenge encourages you to take 1 picture each day (that's probably where they got that inventive name)...then each week you create a double-page scrapbooking layout. I am cheating and putting weeks 1 & 2 together in the spread this there is no layout picture to upload...but here are the pictures I took to fudge for the first 9 days - just a few of my FAVORITE things! But no orange...THIS time! Just you wait! This is a piece of old wood from my aunts ranch I worked for in Canada. One of my good friends up there carved it with a barrel rider and my favorite word - Remember!
This is a new favorite game - just played it the other day with some of my other favorites: Jessica, Jessica and Amanda! :D
Not sure if this qualifies as one of my favorite things - creepy eyes from an abnormally large stuffed pluto dog...hmm...they could grow on me.

Okay, I know I'm totally immature but when I saw this dude I thought 'That is one giant poo!' I still have my two Pooh bears from when I was a baby in storage - he really was one of my favorite things! That's why I had two - I wore the first one to rags!

Oh baby! Hold me back! I'm gonna lick my screen! First found these puppies in PA when I was on my mission. I LOVE them! Sister Moyeda and I used to buy them every week...we'd gladly sacrifice veggies for these!
This little guy was given to me by my Grandpa Cox. He made a little mirror stand for him to sit on.
This is a flower - if you couldn't tell. Alive is preferable on the favorites list, but under 2 ft of snow and constantly freezing Utah temperatures, not happening. Maybe in the 195 or so.
Okay, terrible picture, but still a favorite. I love PA - what more can I say!?

I have wanted this shirt since I was like 12! I finally made it at work on the YuDu silk screen printing machine. DEFINITELY at the top of the favorite list!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Woes of a Pizza Junkie

Okay, so I posted the edited version of this story in the online community at work, but I thought I'd elaborate a little here.

It began around 9:30 this morning when all of the sudden I realized I had a coupon for a $0.25 pizza - yes that's right a Twenty-five cent pizza, from Papa Johns. I decided immediately to capitalize on the opportunity to be an extortionist and get my co-workers to pay for the Large pizza that had to be purchased in order to get the $0.25 pizza deal. Well, they jumped on the band wagon and all pitched in and we got ourselves an online order placed before the clock struck 10:00. I scheduled a pick up at 12:00 and thought everything was peachy...started salivating for the garlic sauce before I'd even eaten my breakfast! Then came the voice from the cubicle...'hope you didn't order that pizza during our meeting...' I DIDN'T order the pizza to be picked up during the scheduled meeting - the meeting is from 10:30 - 11:30. I was, however, held hostage in the said meeting until 12:00! After executing a prison break, I was off for the pizza which I drove like a mad woman to return to the office. By the time I got it back, it was beyond cold and the breadsticks were the wrong kind....I'll save you the carnage incurred by my wrath because of this. Needless to say, I did NOT share my pizza with the voice in the cubicle! Moral of the story: DON'T step on the Garlic sauce!!