Thursday, June 24, 2010

Rebel Without a Cause

So....I almost got arrested last night. Why, you ask? Because I was walking home. Seriously! I was talking to a great friend on the phone and decided to go for a walk around my block. Well, the block by my house isn't really a block - it's like a never-ending maze. I live by the railroad tracks...that means there aren't roads where there should be roads!

I walked for a while and got sick of looking for a non-existent road where I could cross the tracks. I could see my street from where I was standing and thought 'Well, it's just right there! I'll just walk across the tracks and catch that little road over there on the other side.'

Needless to say, as soon as I started walking across the tracks, I heard someone yell "Hey!". I turned around and there was a cop hanging out his window and driving toward me. Now, my first instinct told me to run. I did not, however, heed that primal instinct. I ever so calmly told my friend I was afraid our conversation had reached it's end, hung up and started walking back toward the cop car.

The first thing he said was 'What part of No Trespassing don't you understand?!'. I honestly hadn't even seen any No Trespassing signs...that's what I get for staring at my feet and talking on the phone. He pointed around to a few of the posted signs....sure enough...there were tons of them! And they were HUGE! I thought to myself, "Oh, yeah...THOSE signs. Those HUGE signs right in front of my face that I totally didn't see....how the heck did I miss those?!" But what came out of my mouth was, "oh. Sorry."

Thankfully I have my concealed weapons permit - that makes Cops nice to you cuz they think your on the same team as them (well, so they say anyway...). It sure worked this time. He looked at my license, said "You have your concealed weapons permit? Well, have a nice night." Then he let me walk away, all unarrested.

And that would be how I almost spent a night in the slammer. I wonder what they would have classified that as if I had called in to work from the prison this morning - it's not a sick day...it's not a floating holiday (though, that may be the most applicable) and it's definitely not a vacation...hmm...I am going to have to ask my boss about that ... for future reference.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Best Job EVA!

Oh my heck! I quite possibly...most probably...definitely have THE BEST JOB EVER! I can't even do it justice. I need a video link to adequately illistrate how amazing my job is. And it's all because of my awesome coworkers. This is a synopsis of my day so far:

First thing this morning I got a meeting invite. It was to officially invite me to join the office in doing the Macarena at precisely 3:30 this afternoon. And...in case we didn't know how to do the Macarena, there was a link to a great instructional video...here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlzwuFkn88U

This invite was quickly followed by this email from the meeting coordinator:
"Please keep in mind…that declining is not an option and those responses will be deleted."

Next came an email from a coworker with this question:
"Can we all wear belly shirts like the girl in the video?"

Then, my boss jumped in:
"I’ll bring a pair of scissors and we can all cut the bottom half of our shirts off. Thanks for coordinating this team building activity!"

Another coworker added:
"And I think we should add a pool of guacamole."

Sadly, the belly shirts were vetoed. And no one ever got the guacamole. But at 3:27 I was tasked with finding the original (or as my coworker said, 'the one that the old guys sing!) version of the Macarena to play. Then, turning my poor little laptop up as loud as it would go, we marched to the appointed meeting place and pressed play. Heads popped over cubicles, and people started to drift over. But we had to stop the music and festivities because another coworker was on a phone call (with her boss ironically. And he asked 'Are you in the office?').

But don't you fear - that didn't deter us. We went around the corner to someone's cube and started it over. Everyone who was there started dancing. Three clap and turns into the song, my coworker (they shall all remain nameless) ... started bustin a move. She was ridin' a donkey. Then she grabbed the edge of the cube and started acting like she was pole dancing. Oh man! My boss' boss came out of her office because all of us were laughing so hard we could breathe! We were seriously all crying we were laughing so hard. It was hilarious! It's funnier if you actually know these awesome coworkers - but I definitely think this stands alone in it's unparalleled awesomeness without knowing them! Yeah, definitely have the best job ever!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

If You're Going to Say it Wrong, Get it Right!

So I went to lunch on Saturday with my Aunt and my Mom ... and a few other people, but they were the key players. Several people at the table started talking about their cell phones -what kind they had, whether they liked that model, etc. when my Aunt piped up and said, 'Yeah, I just got a new Blueberry!'

Amidst the laughter that naturally ensued, she said "That's what happens when the Bluetooth and the Blackberry mate.'

And then, a few minutes later, my Mom says, in all seriousness, 'We HAVE to go to the store tonight - we're all out of Mondays!' Pretty sure she meant milk ... pretty sure she didn't say milk. Pretty sure it was dang funny! I'm also pretty sure I'm going to sound just like them when I grow up!