Friday, May 22, 2009

Okay, so yesterday came and went...rather quickly too! Today's topic: Friends. I was reading in my high school journal last night and I came across some hilarious things I did in high school with my friends. I had totally forgotten that most of these things happened - I told you I have memory issues! There was one class (AP English with Mrs. Shelton, to be exact) and every week I would bring treats for the class (it was a little pricey, but in the end it paid off - I passed :) ). Anyway, toward the end of the year was Mrs. Shelton's birthday, so my friend Sarah and I brought cake. I had this awesome cake pan that was indestructible metal and had a handy dandy metal lid that slid onto it - it was pretty sweet, I'm not gonna lie.

Well, the class had their cake and ate it too and everyone loved us. :) After school I was so excited to eat the last piece of cake! It was suprise cake with chocolate chips and cream cheese at the bottom - my very favorite. In my jolly mood I volunteered to give my friends Aersta and Annie a ride home. We all piled into the car and started on our merry little way. All of the sudden it sounded like we were the victims of an air raid - the noise of the metal being sheared away from the top of my car was deafening. And then, it stopped.

We couldn't figure out what the HECK had just happened until Aersta (she was always the brilliant one) turned around and looked to see if there was something behind us. And there was...the cake pan. I had put it on the hood of the car and forgot to get it before we drove off. Oops. But, no harm done - it was indestructible like I said.

We pulled off to the side of the road and just as I was getting ready to run out and grab the pan, a school bus pulled out of the bus loop and RAN OVER MY PAN! Did I mention that the pan belonged to my Mother's Grandmother? Or that it was an heirloom of my Mom's? Allow me to illustrate what my pan looked post-bus:

I was suprised (and so were my friends) that I lived to see the next sunrise. Suffice it to say, telling this story is one of those times you hope your Mom doesn't read your blog and remember.

So, what are some of your great memories from high school? And aren't you so glad that we're past that awkward stage of life? Nevermind, I'm still awkward.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


YAY! I thought you had abandoned me for higher mental pursuits. Thanks for the laugh - I don't remember many of my embarrassing moments so I have to live vicariously through yours...obviously that means the inside of my head is teeming with repressed memories, I tend to embarrass myself often. But when I read all of your falling stories, I thought of the funniest time on the mission.

I have to describe the setting first: Allentown; the Turner Street apartment. Did you ever serve there? Well, for dramatic effect I will describe it anyway. There are three apartments in the Turner Street Row home...We were in the second floor apartment, meaning there was a long wooden staircase going up to the door of our apartment. I was serving with Katie Sano and we were a little spicy together - we burned each other on a regular basis. One morning we were slinging less than compliments at each other as we walked out the door. I paused on the landing while Katie locked the door and said something totally sarcastic like "you're probably going to push me down the stairs" and abruptly turned around to go down the stairs. Well, I did go DOWN the stairs, just not with my feet. I slipped on the first stair and slid down all 465 stairs like a little kid in a laundry basket - only without the laundry basket. Katie ran past me as soon as I cruppled at the bottom and the first thing she said, through hysterical fits of laughter, was "That was hilarious! Can you do it again so I can get it on camera?!"

It was pretty funny...except I had the biggest freaking bruise I have ever seen on my hip. (Katie has pictures - she hasn't given them to me yet, or maybe she is holding them hostage for future blackmail purposes.) The bruise wasn't purple and green and blue like normal bruises - it was solid black and oh baby, it hurt! I couldn't sit down without pain for a month after that! But you know what they say: The bigger they are, the harder they fall. :)

Okay, now on to the powerful words section of this work of literature. I was watching Harry Potter with the fam last week and something Dumbledore says really made me think. He says, "Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy".
I think the reason it impacted me so much is that in the scriptures and at Conference the brethren teach us to choose between good and evil, right and wrong. But through all the talks and lessons, somehow I hadn't necessarily thought of 'easy' being in the 'wrong' category. It is so true though - what is easy is usually in opposition to what is right. But then doing what is right was never meant to be easy. Insert the quotes from Elder Holland running through my mind and the scripture that just came to mind...needless to say, I could go on, but I will stop there.

(I'll be back tomorrow with a deep, or not so deep, query for you...but I'm out of time now.)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Responding and Reflecting

Ashley, I really can't form an opinion since you found the bouquets on's a breech of the good craft employee code. I mean, afterall, I do work for the competition. But if I didn't work for a competitor and WAS able to form an opinion, then I probably, most likely would have said that this bouquet was my favorite. But, since I shouldn't really form an opinion...I won't share that information with you.
So today I heard a great story from a very good friend here at work. It goes as follows: My friend, whom we shall refer to as 'M', stopped to get a present on her way to the reception of a good friends daughter. When she arrived at the reception hall, she grabbed her purse and the gift bag from the car and went inside. After the awkward social gathering ended, all parties, including the newly weds, went home. Most of the guests, including the newly weds, drove back to Nevada. A while later, M got a call from the newly weds telling her that they had found her wallet in the gift bag she gave them. Apparently it had fallen into the bag when she grabbed her purse from the car at the reception. Even better: M had no idea her wallet had left her purse...or the state! Thank goodness for overnight express!
Sadly, M told me this story because I was having a little freak out moment...I can't find my wallet anywhere! Of course, I'll get home and it will be on the kitchen counter or somewhere else in plain sight. I will update on my impending embarrassing moment tomorrow.
So Ashley, share with the class some of your first rate embarrassing moments...I am sure you have at least one...Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

There's a Snake in My Boot

(Read the Prequel)
Okay, so that is not one of my pull-string phrases...although if I really did have a pull-string, I would see if they could install that one. You know, Ashley, for one who talks so much, I have surprisingly few iconic statements of my own...But I will do my best...
2. That is my FAVORITE scripture!
3. Oh man!
4. How's that working for you?
5. Good luck with that.
And I saved the best for last...I DEFINITELY use this phrase in EVERY conversation:
6. Hello, Hi, Hey, Hola or some other variation.

So your life really is interesting and random...I have an obsessive compulsive need to maintain a clean all of my texts have long since been eradicated so I cannot share them with you. I will finish this exciting response later...I'm off to sign my life away...Just think, in only 30 short minutes I will have successfully spent all of my paychecks for the next 30 years. Now that takes talent!

Okay, so it was almost as quick and painless as giving blood...except I've never given blood so I don't know if that's quick or painless. Anyway, I realized I omitted one of my very famous Kriss quotes in the list above..."That is AWESOME!" I have already said it at least a dozen times in the 45 minutes I've been at work. I'm keeping track to see if I can hit 100 today. Kriss out.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Moderation is Overrated

So I've been on a blog fast for the last month and a half. And it seems to have worked quite well - my blog is DEFINITELY thin! But like a dog to it's vomit, a depressed woman to her chocolate, and a teenage boy to the fridge, I am back to blog binging!

So Ashley, my friend :), I guess I will answer your query...First things first, I would have to agree that you are superior at the quality time thing - in fact, I think you are right up there with the mother of all attention harlots...or something like that. ;) Not to sound boastful or anything, but I know how to speak all five love languages too - I just choose not to. But if I wanted to, I could do them all simultaneously! I will have to ponder how...
Ouch...pondering hurts. Moving on. San Diego was like the best time EVA! But I have to confess something...I cheated on my swim suit as soon as we got to Utah with a new Speedo. Shocking I know. Maybe you won't want to be my friend any more...obviously my first love language is NOT fidelity...although I do pray for little old Spanish ladies to have it. :) (For my other two blog stalkers, if you don't get it, don't ask).

Well, people keep looking over my shoulder at the productive work I am doing right now...cough, cough - so I better exit before they build a case for it in HR. Hasta when I get around to it.