Thursday, February 11, 2010

"Best Sleep You Ever Got With a Cold" Medicine

So last Saturday....yes, I know, it's almost Saturday again. But last Saturday I had a little...adventure. I was not in the most stellar condition. I had been fighting a raging head cold and sinus infection all week long and just couldn't seem to kick it. I woke up coughing my guts out at 7:30ish and decided to go take some cough medicine so I could sleep a little longer. Problem: The only cough medicine I had in my house was PM - you know, the super drowsy don't operate heavy machinery after taking this medicine...ever...PM (Yes, Austi - that hyperexaggeration was just for you. :)). Solution: Take it anyway. How bad could it be?

Coughing adequately suppressed, I went back to bed for a few more hours. Upon waking up, I realized I didn't have my cell phone. I ran to the door to look for it in my car. But it was raining and I was wearing slippers. So I ran back up the stairs, feeling more than a little drugged, and grabbed my sandals. I was hurrying back downstairs with my sandals. I was totally focused on my goal and totally focused on not falling over. Consequently, I turned too sharply and ran into the corner of the doorway into the kitchen. This is NOT an uncommon practice with me and walls. But the wall spoke! It blurted 'Ah!' - like it was surprised I had run into it! I screamed at the top of my lungs, absolutely scared to death and leapt away from the doorway! As I leapt, I also registered...the wall...well, the wall was actually my roommate Austi. And I had just screamed like a little girl and tried to run away from her. The good news is I think I laughed so hard I got most of that blasted cough syrup out of my system. No more Nyquil for me! No, seriously - NO MORE!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Ugly Tree

For those of you who instantly recognized the title of this post - I am warning you that this will be a repeat...a very, dreadful repeat. But I decided it is time to bring this story out of the woodwork ... Not so much for my own benefit, but to console friends and aquaintences in their epic, lip-locked struggles. I also decided, that all first kisses should be horrible, awful and highly traumatic. Why? Because horrible, awful and highly traumatic first kisses = HIGHLY entertaining stories for posterity! Anyway, here it goes.

It was my first year at Utah State. I was, yes I admit it, I was the LAST and lingering VL in my apartment. And while I was stubbornly and proudly clinging to that title, along came John. I could tell he really liked me (which should always be the first clue there is something seriously wrong with a man). So I let him take me out on a couple of dates. On our second or third date, it was pretty obvious that he wanted to kiss me. Unfortunately for him, I was not yet resigned to that fate. He drove out to the lake (reservoir, whatever that small body of water in Logan is called) and we took a nice evening stroll out to the dock. He leaned against the railing and put his arms around me. Should've been romantic huh? More like frantic actually. He asked me what I was thinking about and I said something lame like 'Baseball'. So we parried for a while - he asked, I dodged. Finally, he got annoyed and we walked back to the car and drove back to the apartment building. But when we got there, he didn't get out. He looked at the clock and said 'I better get you home before midnight or I will turn into a frog and you'll have to kiss me to get me back.' At this point I had resigned myself to my cruel fate and though my conscience was screaming 'NO!!!!' I responded with something like, 'Why do we have to wait until then?' Of course, that unleashed the beast. He kissed me. He, feeling pretty proud of himself I am sure, asked how it was and I said, without thinking (obviously) 'I don't know. I might need to practice.' Well, needless to say that was his cue. And he kissed me and he kissed me and he kissed me...and I sat, eyes wide open, thinking 'Can I go home now?... I think I just heard a cow.... Wow, that tree is really ugly... No, seriously, that is an ugly tree!'

He finally came up for air, I finally got to go home, and the ugly tree finally got recognized for it's iconic place in my personal history! It's still there, that ugly tree, though thankfully stalker John is not!