Sunday, August 30, 2009

Gagging on My Paycheck

I got my check from the Government - I was a little nervous after the Cash for Clunkers thing went so well. But, it finally arrived. But have you ever noticed how much money and water have in common? Try to get a good grip on water - I dare you. Well, my money seems to have the same problem - it runs through my fingers and is gone before I realize I had it. But I did learn something new this week, and it's a good piece of financial wisdom: If you put $8,000 to the bank so it will earn interest, but you try to be responsible and pay off your credit card and then spend $1,700 per trip to Home Depot, there is seriously NO gain on that investment. I should have just got it all back in cash and stuffed it in my matress...just as long as it wasn't an air matress.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Victory is MINE!

Yesterday (while I was at the temple)my brother finished painting over all the peanut butter walls in the kitchen. YAY! I am excited for two reasons:
1) I LOVE the color on the walls now - maybe just because it is NOT peanut butter and maybe the rest of the world will think it is awful - oh well. But seriously, I love the new color and I'm totally stoked to paint the rest of my house.
2) I got to have a wonderful, spiritual, relaxing evening at the temple with a good friend while my house was being painted :) And by the time I got home from the temple, all of the work was finished and there was even fresh, hot pizza for me! They always say 'No pain, no gain'....well, I guess I proved them wrong! The world would do well to remember my motto in life: "I ALWAYS get what I want" - with a submotto something along the lines of 'I'm not conceited, I'm just worth it.' :)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Watch Out or I'll Sock You!

The other morning I was walking up the stairs to work and it felt like there was something wierd, wrong, amiss with my left pant leg. I reached down and felt a huge lump behind my knee. I rolled up my pant leg and removed the lump and sure enough - it was a sock stuffed in my pantleg. So here I come walking into my office swinging my dirty sock. I'm sure O.S.H.A. would have a hay day with that one! My co-workers sure did.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

You Got Mud on Your Face

Okay, so this story is far more entertaining this morning than it was yesterday. And it's definitely more hilarious for people who were NOT involved in the situation. Yesterday I stopped by my house in Provo to grab the mail and be on my merry little way. Well, there was a strange vehicle parked in my driveway - okay, so it was my Dad's truck, but that's not very dramatic. Anyway, I went inside and found him getting ready to texture my walls. Feeling a sense of obligation to help him work on MY house, I started taping up windows and getting ready to help him. We successfully textured the non-peanut butter walls of the kitchen and he moved into the family room. After running out of sheetrock mud in his cool little sprayer thing, I helped him refill it. He seemed to be doing okay by himself so I told him I was leaving so I wouldn't get dirty because I was going straight to Family Home Evening. He said 'well, you shouldn't get too dirty since we're just texturing the walls.' So, he went back to texturing the family room and I stayed in the kitchen to avoid getting dirty. Ha Ha...famous last words.
There is a doorway between the kitchen and the family room. My Dad came to the edge of that doorway. His last sweep over the wall - half of the mud went down the wall, half of the mud went down me. Head to toe! So, naturally I backed away from the onslaught of sheetrock mud. Unfortunately, I backed away right into the wall behind me - which my Dad had already textured. There was a nice butt print of mine on the wall behind me and everything on the back of me was covered in sheetrock mud and the front of me looked like the mud bucket violently exploded on me - I had sheetrock in my hair, on my glasses, up my nose, all over my brand new shirt, on my jeans and it even made it to my shoes. Needless to say, I told my Dad I was officially finished helping him and I left him laughing hysterically in my kitchen.
I had just enough time to wash and dry my clothes before F.H.E. Well, I thought they were dry anyway. Until I pulled on my pants. Yeah, not dry. Not dry at all! Hopefully no one at Family Home Evening thought I wet my pants - but I didn't ask.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The ODIO of Monday

I HATE Mondays! I really hate Mondays. Hate is a very strong word and it still fails to fully communicate the depth of my hatred for Mondays. I woke up this morning happy and excited and grateful ... and then I remembered it was Monday. As soon as I remembered it was Monday - it was suddenly a TERRIBLE day! I was late getting ready. My hair was flat - which is only a major crisis when I do my hair curly...which is always. Then I went downstairs to get my chocolate milk for breakfast and my ham fried rice for lunch. Someone hadn't washed my water bottle very well so I had to scrub it again before I could put my chocolate milk in there. Then I looked through the whole fridge for my precious ham fried rice and it wasn't there - obviously I was NOT the first person in the kitchen with a hankering for ham fried rice. So I wandered around the kitchen unsuccessfully looking for a suitable lunch replacement and muttering to myself things like 'Who the foul foul filthy foul foul took my rice?!' I think Snoopy aptly illustrates my enthusiasm for my work week...

Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Thank goodness for Family Home Evening and fantastic friends...otherwise I think I'd just cut Mondays out of my diet all together! Come to think of it, I could do without Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Thursdays too. I think every week should be Sunday, Friday, Saturday. Who's with me? We'll start a petition!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Uh...maybe I should sleep more

So yesterday the singles ward had a boating activity. We all met at the church at six o'clock to go to Utah lake for a grand old time. Earlier in the day, as I was getting ready to eat lunch, I thought to myself, "I wonder if they're going to feed us at this thing tonight." A couple of minutes later I realized...wait a second, I am the food committee chair! I am the 'they' who would be feeding us if there was going to be food! Yep, I really should have been a blonde.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Crunchy Peanut Butter and Dumpster Diving

Just a quick update on the peanut butter and jelly paint situation.....when we went to the family reunion last weekend, we stayed at my cousin's house - who, by the way, is my first cousin and the oldest in her family and is named Kristine and it's spelled the same way as my name and she goes by Kris - uh, and people wonder why I have an identity crisis - I was BORN with it!
Anyway, one of the rooms in her basement had the exact color of paint that I have been looking for - TAN paint, not peanut butter paint. I was so excited! All night I had wonderful dreams about repainting my kitchen walls! Friday night was the first time I had to go to the Home Depot (I restrained myself from rushing the store when we got home at midnight last Saturday). I had to take back the seventeen thousand gallons of peanut butter slyly disguised as paint in order to afford the new paint. One of the lids was messed up so I was going to just switch it with the lid from the gallon I used to masacre, I mean paint, my kitchen. Simple enough right? WRONG! I went to grab the empty gallon bucket and couldn't find it. I asked my Dad. He hadn't seen it. I looked in the garbage outside and it wasn't there. At least it wasn't there at first. I took a spare piece of mangled baseboard and started digging through the layers of sheetrock, dirt, nasty stuff and other fungi to see if it could possibly be in there somewhere. I found it - at the very bottom. And the lid couldn't just be conveniently located on the can where it belongs so I could pull it out with the board and never touch the garbage, No, it had to be all alone on the very bottom! So here I am, in nice clothes, in my driveway, in my garbage can! But, fear not, I rescued the lid, cleaned it, swapped it and returned all fifty billion gallons of paint! And for that I am now the proud owner of the CORRECT color of paint! I will soon begin gleefully repainting my kitchen - and there will be much rejoicing! Take that peanut butter!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Take it to the Mattress

On the trip home from a family reunion last weekend I decided I would share some of my mad air mattress skills with my Aunt Julie and my cousin...
Like the time when I went to visit Philadelphia with my Mom after I had foot surgery. I was still wearing that awful boot thing and wasn't' supposed to walk on my foot without it (and yes, I did try to be obedient to that...when the doctor was looking). Well, we were staying in a hotel room the size of a postage stamp and my Mom always brings her 3 foot tall air mattress. The air mattress was shoved at the end of my bed and it cut off the walkway to the bathroom. So of course I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I successfully made it over the corner of the air mattress and into the bathroom. But when I was trying to get back to my bed, I was on the wrong side and couldn't get over without stepping on my bad foot. My Mom, who was awake by then, suggested that I just sit on the end of the mattress and swing my foot around to the other side and then stand up. So, I did. I sat, well kind of fell, onto the end of the air mattress which reacted to the falling mass on the end of it by shooting me off the air mattress and lodging me precariously in the very small space between the bed and the wall - head down, feet up. Yeah, that was the most graceful thing I've ever done.
OR the time when we were on vacation as a family so I decided to sleep on the 3 foot tall air mattress. But the top of that mattress is particularly uncomfortable, so I put another, thinner air mattress on top of it to make it a little more bearable. I was almost asleep when I rolled over and the air mattress tipped...pinning me between the air mattress and the bed with my feet sticking straight up in the air...another graceful maneuver. Don't you all wish you had mad skills like me!?