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Scripture Slut

Yes, I have to admit it, I am a scripture slut. What the crap is a scripture slut you may be thinking. Well, let me enlighten you. I will have to give you some history though.

On my mission I apparently had a hot love affair with one of the elders - we shall call him Elder Untouchable. I WISH I could remember it - man, if my life had a forbidden love scene in it, I would at least like to remember it...probably will be the only one I get. Anyway, I came home...completely unaware that my mission was an epic love saga of rumors about me and Elder Untouchable. At Elder Untouchable's homecoming, another elder from the mission asked if he could clarify something he had heard about this love scandal. I said sure. This is the story he proceeded to tell me:
It was late one evening and I was at the mission office helping Elder Untouchable. President walked in and saw me sitting in a chair, Elder Untouchable standing over me ... and there was a bright lamp directly above us. Our companions were nowhere to be seen. President forthwith banned us from ever serving in the same zone again!

I still don't think I've recovered from falling off my chair laughing when he told me this. Uh, yeah...really? I must say though, whoever was the instigator of this ridiculous rumor - kudos to them for going to such painstaking effort to add the finite detail of the lamp directly above us. That's classic. Oh, and my one question would be...President could see us. Where the heck were our companions?

Anyway, moving on. I was on the phone with Elder Untouchable some time later and he told me a few more rumors (I will spare you since none of them were nearly as fantastic as the lamp story) but then he told me that apparently, during my second transfer, my companion told President in her interview that Elder Untouchable and I were, and I quote, 'Scripture Dating'. I still, and probably never will, have ANY idea what the heck scripture dating is! Scripture dating!?! Seriously!?! Oh man, that's good.

Well, when I was sharing these wonderful adventures that I never had with Jessica and Manders the other night, Jess said 'You scripture slut'. I think I am going to make me a shirt that says that. 'Proud to be a scripture slut'.

P.S. Our epic love saga ended tragically. He came home rather uneventfully and got married to someone he never even scripture dated! And now they have a beautiful little baby. Somehow I feel like I should have some battle scars or at least some memories or something...but I guess our love affair just didn't go that deep.

Comments

Jessica said…
Long story, anticlimactic ending, but so filled with hilariousness. Thanks Scripture Slut. ;)
December 14, 2009 at 2:28 PM
Becky said…
You freakin' crack me up. I heard all of your romantic-rumors while on the mish and was somewhat dissappointed when you finally told me that none of it was true. Anyway, you're probably one of my favorite scripture-sluts ever...I loved this post; thanks for sharing. :)
December 14, 2009 at 5:41 PM
Stacy Lynn Carroll said…
That is so completely random! But I love the shirt idea...awesome!
December 15, 2009 at 3:25 PM
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