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I'm Delighted!

Okay, so I have to warn you - this post is not young, innocent child friendly. So, if you fall into that category. Stop reading now and go back to your happy place. If not, read on.

The day that I started the HCG diet, one of my co-workers, who is kind of a lifer on this diet (she does it....breaks the diet....starts over....breaks the diet....and so the cycle continues) sent me the HCG diet e-book. So, of course I read it. Well, in the course of reading it...this is what I found:


"An excess of water keeps the feces soft, and that is very important in the obese,
who commonly suffer from constipation and a spastic colon. While a patient is
under treatment we never permit the use of any kind of laxative taken by mouth.
We explain that owing to the restricted diet it is perfectly satisfactory and normal to
have an evacuation of the bowel only once every three to four days and that,
provided plenty of fluids are taken, this never leads to any disturbance."

Well, that is surely an overshare. But here is where it gets really good:

"Patients who observe this rule find that after treatment they have a
perfectly normal bowel action and this delights many of them almost as much as
their loss of weight
."

Seriously?!?! Why would you EVER write that in ANY book for ANY reason?! Needless to say, my coworkers have turned it into the interoffice joke. At least once a day, as someone returns from a visit to the restroom, someone else asks - in a mocking tone while clapping their hands excitedly - 'Ooh. Are you delighted?!' As crude and rude and workplace inappropriate as it may be...it is absolutely hysterical. Are you delighted?

Comments

kris said…
I read that in the book and thought it was gross. I am starting today- wish me luck!!
Baby Sister said…
Hahahaha. That is awesome!! And totally awkward. :)
Must-Ash said…
So gross, but so funny. Oddly enough, though, I've had conversations about the struggles and delights of bowel movements with many boys and find it perfectly acceptable to have this printed in a book.
Jessica said…
Bah hah ha! So, if that's as delightful as losing weight, why bother with the weight loss? Just eat regularly and enjoy regular bowel movements! That's right, I just wrote "bowel movements" on the world wide web. Here's lookin' at you posterity...

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