it's nothing special....it's just kriss

Welcome Home

2012-02-10T16:04:00.001-07:00

When we come home, James and I greet Piper the same way: "Hi Piper! Don't pee!!" (Repeat that...but this time in a really obnoxious high pitched voice...yep, that's about right).

I don't know if it really helps or not - she hasn't been having accidents as often when she first sees us. But it never ceases to amuse me how dumb we must sound. And I can only imagine what people would say if we greeted them that way...

The Worth of a Soul

2012-02-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

I was reminded of a powerful truth a couple of Sundays ago. I was talking with my Mom about how The Lord doesn't call those who are qualified - He calls those who need that calling to learn and grow. Naturally, I thought of my mission. At one point I had a companion who didn't want to do the work. She was discouraged and frustrated. And as I focused on encouraging and strengthening her, I started to get frustrated with her. I felt myself getting upset that we were not tracting or teaching or baptizing like we should have been. I felt we were failing as missionaries because we were not bringing souls unto Christ. And I was confident that if this sisters attitude were different, we would be achieving those goals. I felt like I knew what we should be doing and how we should be doing it and yet I couldn't achieve it because my companion was holding me back. Sadly I admit, I felt it was her fault we weren't reaching our goals because she was turning the focus back on her when it should have been turned outward to the people and investigators around us.

While I recognize the pride in that attitude and have tried really hard to overcome it, I recently found myself in a similar situation with a leader and I started to feel some of that frustration creeping back into my heart. But as I talked with my Mom I realized what an amazing testimony this is of God's love for each of us individually. He didn't call my companion to serve and then get angry when she wasn't perfect at fulfilling that calling and when she didn't baptize 150 people that transfer. He understood when He called her that she needed to learn and grow. And He will take care of those 150 people until they are found, taught and converted - even though it wasn't by me and my companion. And He was willing to do that because my companion needed to be saved and the hard things she learned on the mission were a critical piece in that salvation. And SHE was worth it to Him. Her soul was precious enough that He called her to serve instead of calling someone like Elder Holland to serve there in her stead - even though Elder Holland would have likely found 2,000 people to bring to Christ that transfer and we didn't bring any.

It isn't a numbers game to our Father in Heaven. He isn't interested in putting the person in a leadership role who will 'save' the greatest number of people. He is interested in calling the person who most needs to be saved - the person that leadership role may end up saving. Obviously this is not the doctrine of leadership and I don't mean to contradict that doctrine as it has been taught by Prophets and Apostles in any way. I was simply reminded of the profound truth that each person - individually - is truly of infinite worth to our Father in Heaven. And I am SO grateful for that truth! It certainly helps me to have greater patience with those who serve as leaders when I remember it.

A Boy's Best Friend

2012-02-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

I heard growling. So I turned around. There was James, almost 21, kneeling on the floor with the dogs toy hanging out of his mouth and growling in unison with the tiny dog on the other end as they played tug-of-war. It was priceless - I was admittedly disgusted that he actually put her toy in his mouth - but it was nonetheless priceless. And I'm pretty sure if I had managed to snap a picture in time - someone would probably take away his man card.

She Cries

2012-02-06T08:37:00.001-07:00

In Psychology last semester we talked about how babies have different cries - the hungry cry, the sad cry, the startled cry, the angry cry, the hold me cry ... you get the picture ... and I'm sure all of you with kids are intimately acquainted with those cries!

Anyway, I realized this morning (not because I want to compare my dog to your kids...but sometimes there really are some pretty funny similarities) Piper definitely has her own set of cries - almost all of which revolve around playing (or food) in one form or another (that's why she and James are such good buddies - they are both motivated by two things: playing and food. ;) ). Here are a few of her cries:

- You have my ball! I KNOW you have my ball! Give me my ball!! (Accompanied by jumping and sniffing you for said ball)

- Food!! Can I PLEASE have your food?! Please?? (Insert pitiful puppy eyes and head cocking)

- Hey! You aren't paying attention to me! Don't you know the world revolves around me?! (Usually just one whimper. Just enough to get you to look at her. Then she wags her tail and runs to find a toy)

- Play????? (This cry follows the cry for attention...usually because she's come back with a toy to find that you are again not paying attention to her)

- My bone! My bone! I need to bury my bone! (Insert Piper wandering through the house in obvious distress with her half chewed bone hanging out of her mouth)

- There is a person over there - I see them! But they aren't fawning over me!! There is something wrong with this picture! Please come play with me!! (She will stare at them, wag her tail, cry and then turn to look at me like 'Help. It's not working!')

But my very favorite cry is the 'I'm SO excited to see you!!' cry - accompanied by profuse tail wagging, jumping up and down repeatedly and lots of puppy kisses. :)

Hmm...

2012-02-03T08:35:00.001-07:00

Is it bad that I bought a new planner ... and the only dates written in it have to do with Piper?

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

2012-02-01T11:18:00.036-07:00

For Christmas I bought my brothers the Pass of all Passes - thinking that as two teenage boys they would love being able to go to Seven Peaks and Trafalga and all that jazz for free all summer long. And it would encourage sibling bonding since they could go together, right?

Well, before the Christmas break was over, my parents and I were totally jealous of their super cool passes and all the stuff they got to do with them. So we bought one for each of us as well. We spent that first week going to Trafalga and playing mini golf, taking my Mom laser tagging and a few other fun things. But the options are still a little limited until March when we can go ice skating and May when we can start going to Seven Peaks.

But, one of the perks of these passes is that you get into a couple of Grizzlies hockey games for free. One of the free games was on the 19th and my Mom and I decided that would be a great mother-daughter bonding opportunity. -I interrupt this story to comment how freaking awesome my Mom is! Some moms get pedicures, facials or go to chick flicks with their daughters (which is fine for them) but my Mom and I bond over sweaty men beating the crap out of each other with hockey pucks and big sticks. AWESOME! Resume story. - Well, we got there an hour early and told the nice lady at the ticket office to give us the best seats she had left. Obviously she didn't read the "Pass of all Pass holders get the crappy seats in the upper bowl" memo because she gave us FRONT ROW seats!! That's right! So front row that you felt like you were literally sitting on the ice with the players front row. So front row your legs fell asleep from the cold front row. So front row you had to hold on to your soda when they smashed into the glass or it would have ended up all over you front row. Here are some pics and videos for your viewing pleasure. Sorry for the crappy quality - they are just from my phone. I would have brought the camera if I thought we were going to be on the front row!

Smile Mom. This is for posterity.

Yay for Zamboni's! I've loved these crazy things since I was little - they are the only good thing about ice.

Play Ball ... I mean Hockey

Griz was harassing my Mom. Better document it.

The Mason's Temple

2012-01-30T10:32:00.003-07:00

The final piece of the Robert Burns Night 2012: The Mason's temple in Salt Lake and assorted tidbits!

One of the Association members is a member of the Mason's so he was able to give us a full tour of temple - which was incredible! There are so many architectural styles showcased beautifully throughout the temple. My favorite room was probably the Auditorium which has amazing acoustics and a gorgeous night sky complete with working lighted constellations in the dome (please note that this building was built in the 1920's so the fact that you can stand anywhere in the auditorium and be heard because of the original acoustics...that's pretty freaking awesome!). But it's hard to pick a favorite with so many amazing rooms to choose from! It was by far the highlight of the evening!

After the tour, we had a delicious dinner of perfectly normal food (including strawberry short-carbs...we couldn't decide on strawberry shortcake or shortbread...so we just stuck with what we knew...carbs. :) ). I did not eat any Haggis - even though they claimed it was the best Haggis in all of Utah. After dinner we enjoyed a fantastic evening of Robert Burns poems, songs and prose. And we ended with the traditional singing of Auld Lange Syne. It was a great night and I am so glad that Mandy invited me to come with her! It is a tradition for sure!

Oh, and I won 56.37 lbs of Chicken in the silent auction. Can you say 'Chicken themed' dinners for a very long time? Tamales, Tinga, barbecued chicken, fried chicken, grilled chicken, chicken nuggets...I wonder how many chicken nuggets you can make with 56.37 lbs of chicken? Guess we'll find out!!

Got Haggis?

2012-01-27T10:47:00.001-07:00

On the 21st I had the awesome opportunity to go with my wonderful friend Mandy to the Utah Scottish Associations annual Robert Burns Supper. I have a few stories...so I think I'm going to break it out into a couple of posts. Hope you don't mind. Not like you really have a choice. :)

Mandy asked if I would be willing to bring the Haggis up from BYU. Yes, the Haggis. If you don't know what Haggis is...don't ask me. Google it. Or click on this handy link but try not to lose your lunch. Now we went to our first ever Robert Burns Supper up at Utah State last year - where I tried Haggis for the first (and last) time. It actually wasn't too bad - but after you read the link above, you might understand why Haggis and I are not exactly friends.

So when Mandy asked me if I could bring up the Haggis...I stemmed the instinctual urge to vomit and said yes. Why? Because I love Mandy. Here are a few of my thoughts about the warm-reekin entrails as I drove to Salt Lake with a backseat full of them in a snow storm:

- BYU has the BEST transportation containers ever! Thick plastic and sealed completely - no smell, no nausea.
- Haggis doesn't sing along to the radio very well.
- It would be highly entertaining to get pulled over with Haggis in the car - inducing vomiting in the police officer would likely get you out of a ticket.
- Driving solo is always a good idea with Haggis in the car. How do you explain to your date that the backseat is occupied by ... guts?
- And finally, getting in an accident with Haggis in the car would definitely end badly. How would they know if those were your guts strewn all over the road or the main course of your dinner? That's a distinction no one should ever have to make.

Working Ouch...I Mean Out

2012-01-25T08:55:00.001-07:00

So I'm pretty sure it's a good thing I'm going into Occupational Therapy. Too bad I won't be done with school this week though - I'm going to need some serious rehab just to be able to get dressed after working out with Melanie at the gym this week. She is kicking my trash!!
(P.S. Melanie is my personal trainer. She is REALLY good at her job...which is painful.)

Road Trip! - The Temple Part

2012-01-23T09:58:00.000-07:00

My Mom wanted to go to the Idaho Falls temple while we were there last weekend. So, we got up early and headed over there while we left the gaggle of cousin's getting ready. Just as a side note - Idaho is COLD! Walking up to the temple I lost all feeling from my toes to my nose. And I am pretty sure my brain froze. I told my Mom that just because there was no snow and the roads were safe didn't mean we were supposed to come visit Idaho in the winter. BRR!

But what better contrast to the frozen outside than the warmth and Spirit of the House of The Lord. And what better refuge is there than the temple when visiting family we adore but who don't live The Gospel. It was a really neat experience. We did Initiatories and, among many other thoughts and impressions, I was again reminded of the amazing love our Heavenly Father has for each of us and His willingness to forgive us as often as we seek that forgiveness. I am grateful for the temple and for the promised blessings we find within it's walls. And I am grateful for a Mom who always leads out in living the Gospel and helps me to be where The Spirit is so that I can be taught and uplifted. She is truly my inspiration and my greatest friend!

Road Trip! - The Not Piper Part

2012-01-20T09:28:00.043-07:00

You gotta love Idaho Falls. And my family. My cousin, K had a date on Friday night. They went to Jaliscos for dinner. She left at 7:00 and we showed up at the house a few minutes later. We all decided to go out to eat too - all 7 of us crazy, loud family members. Guess where we went for dinner? Jaliscos. Guess where we sat - close enough to spy on them on their date. And we interrupted them to make her give us a hug since we hadn't seen her in ages. Yeah, we're just cool like that.

Oh, and my cousin's are blond to the core. During dinner, my cousin H told us her woes about going on vacation to the Dominican Republic next week. She has to buy a suitcase. But she just can't bring herself to 'commit' to a suitcase. Note: H lives with her boyfriend. Living with a boyfriend is acceptable commitment. Buying a suitcase - inconceivable. And I thought I had commitment issues.

Then she told us about her sister, D, who is going on vacation with her. D was putting in for days off of work and kept trying to take an extra 4 days off before they left. Apparently it takes 4 days to pack for vacation. And apparently not having a paycheck for an entire month is not enough motivation to pack the day you leave.

On Saturday, D came home in the middle of the afternoon. She was standing in her room with her purse on her arm, her waterbottle in one hand and her phone in the other and eating a cookie. Her sister said, 'What are you doing? Are you going somewhere?'. To which she responded, 'I was going to take a shower - but then I found a cookie.'

Sometimes I just roll my eyes at them. I love them dearly, but sometimes....

Road Trip! - The Piper Part

2012-01-18T15:27:00.003-07:00

This past weekend my Mom and I took Piper on her very first road trip. We went to Idaho Falls to visit my aunt and cousins. This dog LOVES car rides - so I didn't think it would be too bad. And really it wasn't.

On the way there, she sat on my lap the whole time. She stared out the window and wagged her tail for seriously the entire four hours! My Mom was super sweet and set up the back seat like the doggy Hilton. There was a tarp on the floor so Piper could have her food, water and litter box down there - just in case she needed them (and my Mother says she hates this dog. Right. I'm so not buying that!). The first time I put her back there, she got in her litter box and then jumped right back out and gave me this look like, "Are you kidding me!? How the heck am I supposed to use that when the whole freaking car is moving!?!" Then she proceeded to scratch at the back of the seat and cry because she was too little to jump back into the front seat. As pitiful as it was - it was pretty funny.

She did great at my Aunt's house - she didn't get eaten by the cat, freeze in the Idaho cold during the night, or attack their lab. In fact, she and the lab were buddies and got along great! And she was in love with all the new people who were more than willing to scratch her and let her give them kisses. I swear - that dog thinks she is a people. And that the world revolves around her. Sadly, it might.

The ride home was much more exciting. She must have worn herself out cuz she passed out before we were even out of my cousin's cul-de-sac. And she stayed passed out all the way to Brigham City! Sleepy puppy. In Brigham my Mom and I switched and I drove the rest of the way home. Mom wasn't such a huge fan of me trying to juggle the dog, who was now wide awake, and drive at the same time. So she made Piper come sit with her. That was a success - NOT! Piper is just a little bit attached to me and her place in the car is on MY lap. And she just.can't.handle.it when she's not on my lap. So for the next hour, she and my Mom were locked in an epic battle of wits - Piper trying desperately to outsmart my Mom to get back to my lap and Mom trying to keep her restrained on that side of the car. And dang that dog is smart. She would sit there all nice and quiet, she would even look out the window on my Mom's side and pretend she was perfectly content to sit with Mom. Then, as soon as my Mom let go of her she would turn lightening quick and bolt for my lap. Mom would catch her and sit her back down and it would start again. At one point my Mom had her hand on Piper's chest and Piper stuck her nose between Mom's hand and her chest and pushed - like she was pushing my Mom's hand away. It was hilarious. And finally when she couldn't win, she would lay her head on my Mom's arm, look at me and sigh. Yep - my dog is a drama queen. But all in all, I would call her first road trip a smashing success!

A Serious New Year Post

2012-01-16T10:32:00.052-07:00

I had the opportunity to give a talk in my ward on New Year's Day. That was an awesome experience. Really. The topic was, want to guess? Resolutions. From my previous posts...it might be obvious that I struggle in the application of the principles learned from preparing my talk. But, there were a couple of points that I came across that I absolutely loved and wanted to share.

Resolutions, goals and covenants are not so very different from each other. They are all commitments and they all require action on our part. Preach My Gospel has some amazing quotes on goals: “I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principles of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life” (Elder Ballard, quoted in PMG, pg. 146).
“Goals reflect the desires of our hearts and our vision of what we can accomplish…Goal setting and planning are acts of faith” (PMG, pg. 146).

Goals are awesome! And so are covenants! But making them, though it is an act of faith, is the easy part. It's keeping them that is the hard part (especially keeping them longer than January 31st....unless you're cool like me and don't even bother making them at all! Please, no comments on my obvious lack of faith.)

As I started thinking about keeping our covenants and being 'covenant-keepers', I naturally thought about The Savior and His Atonement. In the Council in Heaven, The Savior entered into a covenant with our Heavenly Father to come to earth and complete The Atonement in our behalf (see Moses 4). And we have His testimony about fulfilling that covenant: "For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—"

And here is perhaps my favorite verse in all canonized scripture: "Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men" (D&C 19:16-19).

I am forever grateful that The Savior was a 'covenant-keeper'!

New Year's Resolution

2012-01-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

My New Year's resolution for 2012 is to make New Year's resolutions next year.

Aim low & you reach your goals.

The First Cut

2012-01-11T16:22:00.000-07:00

So, I know that the rest of the world doesn't really care. But today I made the first cut. Yep. That's right. I got an official invitation from the University of Utah to come on February 10th for an interview day.

That means I have to manage to not say something stupid, act stupid or trip on anything in front of the people I am trying to impress - each of which is a monumental feat in and of itself...so I'm not sure how I'm going to pull off all three in one day and for an entire day. But, if I do manage to somehow pull it off - I might actually make it in. But, at this point, I think that is actually more terrifying than not getting in!

(P.S. Inspite of my sarcasm and boasting...I just have to put a plug in here that I fully acknowledge that getting in to grad school - even making it this far - doesn't happen unless it is supposed to. The Lord is in the details. And He is guiding my life as He always does. He is opening doors that otherwise would remain shut indefinitely. I am profoundly grateful for that. And incredibly humbled...yes, humbled...by the responsibility that brings. I just hope I can rise to the challenge.)

Reliving the Mission

2012-01-03T22:21:00.017-07:00

I was talking with my Mom (who shall remain nameless) the other night and she was reminiscing about her mission and the film strips they used as missionaries. Then she said, quoting the introduction to Man's Search for Happiness: "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives." Need I say more? Best laugh ever.

The Obligatory New Year Post

2012-01-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

So I think 2011 can be summed up best by Chris Cagle: "Scars heal, glory fades and all we're left with are the memories made. Pain hurts, but only for a minute. Life is short so go on and live it." We'll stop there because 2011 certainly wasn't lived because 'the chicks dig it'...that would be awkward.

But this year definitely taught me that scars, both external and internal, do heal; that the glory of this life will fade - but the glory of a righteous life will live forever in the hearts of those you touch. It taught me that memories made and relationships cultivated with good friends and family members are some of the greatest privileges and joys of this life. 2011 brought a share of pain - but it really does only hurt for a minute if we turn to The Savior. This year, perhaps more than any other, I have become keenly aware of the frailty of life. But I have also found courage in that awareness - courage to take a chance, to live life a little more fully and to take the first step into the darkness of the unknown, trusting that The Lord to guide one step at a time.

So here's to a great 2012 - let's hope it will be even better than 2011. And thanks to 2011 for all the great lessons, awesome adventures and wonderful friends!

A Sense of Accomplishment

2011-12-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

This is your fair warning - you don't have to keep reading if you don't want to hear how awesome I feel right now. So...you've been warned.

I just got my grades from UVU for Fall semester. All I have to say is 4.0!! I am feeling pretty freaking awesome about that! I know for most of you that might not be a huge deal, but I didn't get very many 4.0 semesters in college and then after 7 years of being out of college, going back full-time while balancing work and stuff...not to mention the fact that two of those classes were Statistics and Chemistry...it's pretty epic.

I have a new found respect and admiration for those who successfully balance full-time work and full-time school. It totally sucks!! And I can't even imagine throwing a family into that mix! That's just nuts! I almost died and I only have to worry about me! Luckily I narrowly escaped death and I'm gearing up for another semester of this craziness. But this moment of euphoria is almost worth the last three months of stress and struggle and pounding my brain against lots of hard objects. Almost.

Exercise is Overrated

2011-12-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Gym,
I would like to say I missed you and that last night was a wonderful, long-anticipated reunion after the semester from you-know-where...but lying is a sin.
Love,
Kriss

Thank Goodness!

2011-11-18T10:17:00.002-07:00

Lately I've been having some pretty crazy dreams. Last night I dreamt that I was on vacation with the family. There are only two things that I remember in vivid detail:
1- We went to this huge shopping mall and kept stopping to buy and eat food. And my mom was totally obsessed with eating ice cream. She kept stopping at every ice cream stand to buy some. Pretty sure I have no idea what my subconscious was telling me with this one!
2 - It was Sunday. And it was Fast Sunday - but somehow I didn't know it was Sunday, or Fast Sunday, until half way through our shopping and ice cream eating spree. And I was MORTIFIED. Quotes from General Authorities about keeping The Sabbath Day holy kept running through my mind. I told the fam and they were all like, 'Oh yeah. Oops.' and kept eating their ice cream. I seriously had a full-on panic attack in my dream. I didn't know what to do. I was sure it was the end of my life and my eternal salvation.
Thankfully I woke up. And even more thankfully, I still have time to make sure that dream doesn't come true next Fast Sunday!

I Can be Thankful - Sometimes

2011-11-16T11:59:00.054-07:00

It seems fitting that my next post...following the last post about Thanksgiving....should rightly belong to the holiday I tried to defend. I feel a little overwhelmed thinking about everything I am grateful for. So - I narrowed it down to three - but please realize that these three categories encapsulate my entire life...and that's a lot. So they might be really fat - although not nearly as fat as if I tried to honestly include everything (and everyone) in them. Just warning you.

First, I am grateful for people. I am grateful for people who make life bearable - the people who randomly smile when you're feeling down, or the people who turn around in line and start a happy little convo with you while you're waiting to check out, or the people who are really good at their jobs and rarely get noticed but make my job and my life so much easier. I am grateful for the people who don't know that I noticed them - the mother who tenderly consoled her crying child instead of getting frustrated, the elderly man who laughs and jokes even though he has no knee joint, no hip joint and can't even get himself out of bed, the couple who have been married for a decade and are somehow still madly in love, the professor who courageously teaches truth in the face of opposition. If you are reading this - you are a people. But not just any people. You are a people that has made a difference. If I start to list you all by name - Blogger will kick my post out because it would be long enough to quite probably circumvent the entire globe. So, you better just know who you are - and you should know that I love you. I could not survive without you. I am grateful for so many amazing people I call my friends. You define me. I am better because of you. I am grateful for people (all crazy million of them) that I call my family. They are my whole world. I am grateful for people!

Second, I am grateful for things. I am grateful for things like a house, a car, a job, a computer, the Internet, my glasses, school - things that make it easier for me to spend time with and take care of and love the people in my life. I am grateful that modern conveniences free up so much time and space in my brain that I can focus more on what I truly love the most - people!

And lastly, and arguably most importantly, I am grateful for my Savior. I have people and things because of Him and His tender care toward me. In fact, I have EVERYTHING because of Him. If I start the list - it would be longer than my people list. There simply are not words to express how grateful I am for Him and for His Gospel, His living prophet, His scriptures, His doctrines of salvation, His magnificent life and awesome Atonement. But you should know that I am grateful for Him.

As you can see - I have a LOT to be grateful for. So, thanks for reading through my list of blessings with me!

Christmas in November

2011-11-14T11:09:00.068-07:00

A lot of friends have been talking about how much they hate Christmas creeping into (or completely taking over) November. So I started thinking about the issue - because apparently it's a big one and obviously something I should be thinking about, right?
I think Thanksgiving suffers from severe middle-child syndrome. Halloween comes first and is a little bit crazy but well recognized, highly celebrated and ridiculously loved. Then there's Christmas, the ever impatient youngest child who can't wait their turn...ever. Plus Christmas is the 'favorite' child - it's loved, celebrated, commercialized, overpriced and way over represented.
And Thanksgiving just sits back and gets run over by these two crazy holidays on either side of it. It never complains when people forget it or when international businesses schedule important meetings that day (ugh...speaking from experience on that). Thanksgiving doesn't mind giving the lime light to the other two. Why? Because it's THANKSGIVING - it's humble and grateful for what it has and for the little recognition receives from Thanksgiving die-hards. By very definition it won't fight to be on top - it goes against it's nature.
But, truly, Thanksgiving and Christmas have a lot in common. Turkey, pie, mashed potatoes, post turkey naps, days off of work, extra pounds to eat and gain, great family and friends to celebrate with, pie - did I mention pie? No, seriously though, isn't the purpose between the two holidays essentially the same? To remember? One holiday celebrates remembering the blessings we receive and the people who enrich our lives. The other is an opportunity to remember the birth of The Son of God - the source of all those blessings. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you take commercialism, presents, neighborhood treats, Black Friday, crazy holiday lights, decorations and fuss out of the picture - Thanksgiving and Christmas should really be friends and play nicely in the sandbox. And Thanksgiving should come first and get due recognition for it's highly important place in the end-of-year holiday line-up - first remember the blessings, then remember the Source.

Battle of The Bands

2011-11-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

On my right is my boss - blasting classical Christmas music. On my left is my co-worker - blasting oldies in an effort to drown out the classical Christmas music. Then there's me - plugged into Pandora, listening to Adele "Someone Like You". And not only is the music blasting - but randomly, my co-worker starts singing along to her oldies station so my boss starts humming Christmas tunes really loudly. I sorta feel obligated to unplug my iPod and start singing out loud too. Too bad our other co-worker isn't here to blast and sing along to her Spanish tunes. That would be the icing on the cake.

Mom's are Great!

2011-11-07T11:29:00.000-07:00

Saturday I went to a bridal shower with my Mom. On the way, I needed a potty stop so she asked me if I wanted her to stop at Monk-donalds so I could go to the bathroom. I think we've been watching too many back-to-back episodes of Monk lately. What do you think?

Then, out of nowhere she waved at some random people on the side of the road. So, I asked her, 'Do you even know them?' To which she responded, 'It's the MISSIONARIES! Those are the people that wear nametags and black suits. Have you been home from your mission so long that you don't even recognize what missionaries look like anymore?!'

Maybe I have been home that long! Anyway, I love my Mom! She always keeps me laughing!

I Hope They Call Me on a Mission

2011-10-12T13:06:00.001-06:00

Recently, a good friend posted about the mission and it got me thinking about my mission and what it means to me. It has been a great chance to reflect - especially since the years after the mission keep flying by and I notice that, slowly, the evidences of my mission have started to fade into the background of my all-too-busy life. So, this post is really to remind myself what the mission means to me - but thanks for reading along with me. :) I cannot possibly post all of my reflections here because, as Elder Holland says frequently, "My mission meant EVERYTHING to me!". I pretty much feel the same way. But here are a few (or quite a few) of the ways that the mission means everything to me:

- It means I set the alarm for 7:00...and I'm grateful for that extra 30 minutes.
- It means I have a greater appreciation for being able to do whatever I want, all by myself!
- It means I recognize how awesome it is that I don't have to wear nylons (or a dress) everywhere I go.
- It means I am overwhelmingly grateful on cold winter days that I am inside, sipping hot cocoa instead of knocking doors.
- It means I know how to set a goal, write it down, and make it happen.
- It means I know how to plan my days, hour by hour, to make sure I am using my time wisely.
- It means I am better at studying - the scriptures and for school.
- It means I have marginally mastered the Spanish language - or at least the missionary appropriate vocabulary.
- It means I have a greater cultural awareness and deep love for Latino's and people around the world (and Cheesesteaks...and Rita's Waterice...and Tastykakes...and Pesto Pizza).
- It means I have greater empathy for the struggles others face and greater respect for the challenges they conquer.
- It means I have a greater understanding, love and reverence for the Prophet Joseph.
- It means I understand why The Book of Mormon is the keystone of our religion and I am intimately acquainted with the power of it's pages.
- It means I have a testimony of fasting, prayer and the power of unity.
- It means I understand and love the Plan of Salvation.
- It means I recognize my need for the Sacrament and temple attendance to frequently renew the covenants I have made.
- And above all, it means that I know and love my Savior; that I am extraordinarily grateful for His magnificent Atonement and that I recognize my absolute dependence on Him to be cleansed, sanctified and one day exalted.

This doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of what my mission means to me, but I am so grateful that, in spite of my weaknesses and imperfections, The Lord did call me on a mission.

If You Want to Destroy My Sweater!

2011-10-11T09:02:00.000-06:00

I bought the dog a new sweater. I know. You don't even have to say it. But isn't it cute?!

It's All About Perspective

2011-10-05T10:19:00.022-06:00

Last week in my observations, we worked with a sweet, sweet lady. I've worked with her a few times before. She is legally blind, 95 years old and has had her hip dislocated over 13 times. Other than that, she is very alert, has a great sense of humor and still gets around very well on her own. She has had a rough life, she was widowed very young with three small daughters. All she knew how to be when her husband died was a housewife - so she had to go back to school and get an education and then enter the workforce to support her family. She never remarried but she lived life to it's fullest, always up for whatever next great adventure lie ahead. She is a great patient and always has a great story to tell and a positive outlook on life.

For therapy this past week, the therapist asked her what question she would ask a potential employee if she were interviewing them for a job. Her response, "Do you fool around after work?" It was so uncharacteristic that the therapist and I couldn't stop laughing - we definitely didn't see that coming. And she chuckled to herself a little bit - thinking she was pretty funny.

A little while later, the therapist asked her what questions she would ask the employer if she were interviewing for a position at their company. Her response, "How many single guys work here?" Again we laughed - we should have expected it, but we still didn't see it coming. But it was even funnier when the therapist started writing that down on the paper as one of her questions, she grabbed his hand and said, adamantly, through her chuckling, "Don't write that down! I would NEVER ask them that!"

A Friend Named Elsie

2011-10-03T09:26:00.000-06:00

Last week while I was shadowing the Occupational Therapist at Orem Rehab, I was able to watch a therapy session with a sweet little lady named Elsie. I'm not quite sure what her diagnosis is, but Elsie is hunched over in a wheelchair and she has a few symptoms of Downs Syndrome - one of which is that her tongue is very large and fills her whole mouth, so it's really hard to understand what she is saying. She is very alert, but has pretty severely dimished congition - so it's like working with a young child. She is a permanent resident there at the Nursing home. I've seen her a couple of times, but haven't had a chance to talk with her or be there when she had therapy sessions. So Thursday was a first in a lot of ways.

I was first impressed when the therapist introduced me to Elsie, that she said she remembered me from when she had seen me in the hall a few weeks earlier. What a great memory! They played a matching game to start out therapy. It was a simple game but when Elsie made a match, the therapist would get excited and praise her. And Elsie would laugh and laugh! Then the therapist would set the game up a little differently and tease her that she wouldn't be able to figure it out this time - to which Elsie always replied, with a grin, 'She likes to tease me!'. Then she would figure out the game and the therapist would act so surprised and Elsie would laugh some more.

After a few more rounds of cards, we set up a bean bag toss. Elsie thought that was the greatest thing ever. She laughed and laughed every time she got the bean bag through the hole. And she was elated when I counted the bean bags she had made through the hole and she had beaten her record from the day before. When we started picking up the bean bags, the therapist threw them on to Elsie's lap and Elsie would throw them back into the bucket. Elsie thought it was the funniest thing that the therapist could throw them onto her lap so fast. She giggled the whole time and there were a few times where she had to stop for a minute because she started laughing so hard.

After bean bags, we played catch with a soft dodgeball for a little while. Elsie had a blast. She kept throwing the ball crazy so the therapist had to go after it. And when she didn't catch the ball and it rolled off her lap or her feet, she laughed and laughed some more. And of course, every time Elsie laughed - we laughed too.

40 minutes after therapy had started, we got Elsie some orange juice and took her back to the hall by her room. She laughed and joked with the therapist the whole way back. As we were walking back to the gym, the therapist told me a little bit about Elsie's history. She used to be mean and abusive and angry. She swore at the nurses and hit them and didn't want to do therapy with anyone and yelled at people when they went past her in the hall. But this therapist (who in my opinion is a phenominal therapist - I've followed her quite a bit) decided that Elsie needed something more. So she took the time to build a friendship with her. And now Elsie is full of life and energy, she loves therapy and the therapist and her whole demeanor is completely different.

Elsie is a perfect example of why I love Thursdays. Thursday reminds me that super heroes are real - but they spend their days in therapy gyms instead of underground secret caverns. They wear normal street clothes instead of stretchy pants and capes. And even though they can't fly and there aren't beacons in the sky calling them to the rescue - they still save lives. And the coolest part? Everyone can be a super hero - even me. : )

Oh The People We Meet

2011-09-30T14:54:00.001-06:00

Every week I have an epic battle. It IS epic - just trust me. I sit Monday - Wednesday in my nice little cubicle, in front of my computer with two screens and have little human interaction. And I get a fat paycheck at the end of every two weeks - thanking me for dutifully staring at my computer screens - both of them. And Monday - Wednesday, every week, I wonder if I'm nuts to be taking classes again after more years than I have fingers to count them on. And every week I wonder if I've lost it completely to be taking 15 credits while working full time. And every week I want to quit...give up...stop trying....and just keep enjoying my quiet cubicle and fat paycheck.

Then comes Thursday.

Thursday means taking PTO and peeling my eyeballs away from my computer screens for the day. Thursday means spending 8 1/2 hours happily bouncing between patients and therapists at various locations where I shadow Occupational Therapists. Thursday reminds me that my contribution to society MUST be more than staring at two computer screens every day. Thursday is what reminds me that the classes and stress and lack of sleep are all worth it. Thursday reminds me what it feels like to make a difference - to be someone's hero. So, here's to Thursday - and all the grand adventures and people it brings!

'Nough Said

2011-09-28T16:45:00.000-06:00

Yesterday in my Human Development class, we had to watch the original-made-in-the-80's-women-with-big-hair-and-funky-clothes-way-too-much-of-an-overshare birthing video. 'nough said.

I AM Smarter Than a 5th Grader

2011-09-26T16:49:00.002-06:00

Ok - so maybe I can't prove that I'm smarter than a 5th grader (and I highly doubt that I am) but I did feel smart today when I was working on a Chemistry assignment and my co-workers asked me to read them the question I was working on to see if they could figure out the answer. I didn't even finish reading the question before they started blurting out ridiculous and random answers. Then I finished the question - and got it right. :) Somedays I love being back in school!

My Favourite Animal is Puppies

2011-09-20T14:06:00.000-06:00

So, I've posted about the terrors of my tiny puppy. And the things she's shredded and eaten. And how naughty she is. But today I'm going to be a bit more positive and post a few of my recent favorite pics of her - I think you'll see by the end why, inspite of all the horribly naughty things she does, I could never get rid of this dog!

This is her favorite thing to do when the fan is on.
Her 'inside dog' version of sticking her head out the window maybe???

Aren't I adorable? Don't you want to FEED me?

I think this picture should go on the Christmas card this year.
Agreed?

Smile for the camera!

A Very Bad Idea

2011-09-16T09:25:00.000-06:00

Note to self:
Don't stalk your ex-boyfriend's that you almost married and then ran away from - because when you see that they are married with cute babies and are still ridiculously good looking - it sort of makes you want to cry.

Tiny Terror

2011-09-14T16:48:00.000-06:00

It never ceases to amaze (and frighten) me when I come home each night to see what my tiny terror has done in my absence.

This week she:
- Dug/chewed a 7"x3" hole in my carpet - all the way to floor boards
- Figured out how to break out of her gate and run FREEEEEE through the house
- Chewed through my $50 bath mat
- Ate an entire garbage can full of paper towels and other assorted non-digestibles
- Played ball in my shower
- Left jerky bits and rawhide pieces all over my comforter
- Left a nice little present on the floor for me to clean up
- Learned she is strong enough to move the safe on top of the aforementioned hole and continued making said hole even bigger
- Licked the inside of my nose
- Chased my parent's neighbor up the street

And yet, somehow I still can't get enough of that furry little face. Go figure.

The Sharp Knife

2011-09-13T13:55:00.000-06:00

I have had 'If I Die Young' by The Band Perry stuck in my head for days - as morbid as it is, I haven't been able to get it out of my head. So today I looked up the meaning. This is what the 'official' interview said:

The meaning of the song is simple, it’s about making the most of whatever time you are given, whether it’s 2 years or 20 years. The Band Perry goes on to says that even at their young ages they have all lived and loved and if it all ends at this moment, look what they’ve gotten to do. “Whatever time we’re given will be absolutely enough as long as we make the most of it” (Borrowed from here).

A sister in our ward passed away this morning after an almost year long battle with cancer. With the meaning of the song fresh in my mind, I think it is an appropriately somber tribute to her. She definitely made the most of every moment she had. She was a great example of faith, courage and optimism in the face of overwhelming adversity. She "fought a good fight", she "finished her course" and she surely "kept the faith" (2 Tim. 4:7). And though her life was 'severed by the sharp knife of a short life' - how grateful I am for the legacy she has left behind. I only hope I can follow in her footsteps and make the most of everything I am given.

False Sense of Security

2011-09-09T10:35:00.000-06:00

This is my current relationship with my classes:

I feel safe...for the moment. Things are going well and I seem to have a real shot at passing these classes. But, I am fully aware that a few chapters down the semester, I will be forced into the icy water and will surely be swept down stream and drowned. But until then, I'm grateful for this false sense of security.

Bring on the Homework, Books & Teachers Dirty Looks

2011-09-01T14:10:00.000-06:00

This week marks the official first week of the end of my life. I started classes at UVU this week. All the horribly painful classes I strategically avoided by majoring in English. All the incredibly difficult classes that are pre-requisites to applying to my Master's program. Like Chemistry, and Statistics and Physics and Anatomy. Blah.

Things I hate about college 2.0:

- You pay you right arm & 2 yrs of post-graduate income in tuition for 1 part-time semester. Then you pay your first born child, left leg and another year of income to cover books. No WONDER people take years off to save up for college - I make pretty good money and I still can't afford it all!!

- If you have a normal job, you can't do anything. You can't buy books because the Bookstore closes before you get out of class. You can't get a parking permit - because the office closes before you even get off of work. You can, however, get your student ID card that gives you access to absolutely nothing. Awesome.

Things I love about college 2.0:

- For a mere $40, you can get a night parking pass that allows you to steal precious parking from faculty members without getting a ticket. Bwa ha ha.

- My stats teacher is giving us extra credit for 'smiling in class and having a positive attitude'. I can totally fake that one - even in Stats!

- On the first day of class, my Life-span Development teacher said, 'If you came here to learn about Freud, you definitely have the wrong teacher. In fact, I do my absolute best to disprove every theory Freud ever had.' That is freaking awesome!! (Don't hate me if you're a Freud fan...I most certainly am not. But we can still be friends).

So, I guess it's not all bad. But if you never hear from me again - you know it was death by Sciences! I...Need...English...Classes...

A Clean Post

2011-08-15T14:53:00.000-06:00

When I was a little kid and tried to manipulate my Mother into letting me get a puppy, she would always ask how I would keep it clean. I would answer that if I had a puppy, it could just shower with me every morning. Then it would always be clean and I would never have to bathe it. Foolproof plan right?

Well, I don't have a fan in my bathroom right now and so I have to leave the door open just a crack. And without fail, every morning, a little, furry head pokes around the corner of the shower curtain. As much as I thought that was a great idea as a child - I certainly DO NOT appreciate it now. So when that furry little head pokes into the shower - I yell. A lot. And throw things. Occasionally. Until she leaves me to finish my shower in peace.

The other day while I was showering, I was noting that my superior training skills had finally paid off and the dog was not sticking her head in the shower. Then, I felt something on my leg. So I turned around. Piper had climbed in the shower and was standing right behind me. In. My. Shower! Good thing my neighbors only speak Spanish and I only yell in English!

Einstein Bagels and a Dog

2011-07-29T09:10:00.033-06:00

People say having a kid changes things. Well, I am not comparing my dog to your children, but getting a dog definitely changes things too. Some things are dramatic - like the 'used to be office now turned puppy' room. Or the 'I left my puppy with my not-so-observant brother and now there is a crater' hole at the top of my stairs.

Others are more subtle, like the 'I can't snooze my alarm because it's not fair to the puppy' feeling in the morning. Or the 'I just spent more money on dog toys than I did on food for me' moment of realization.

Some changes are even more subtle. Like this weekend when my Mom and I went to Einstein Bagels for lunch. Who knew they have 'doggy bagels'? I didn't. But I do now. Why? Because I notice things like that now. And, if you ask if I bought one for my dog....sadly, I would have to say yes. Because of the subtle, almost subconcious, nagging thought of her tiny little face begging for a bagel. Afterall, if I get bagels for lunch, isn't it only fair that she gets one too?

Mmm....Corvette!

2011-07-25T13:39:00.006-06:00

I have a minor obsession with Corvette's. Check out the website and I think you'll agree that they are beautiful cars. I rode in one once. It cost as much as my house. It also went from 0 to 80 in 2.5 seconds. It just doesn't get any better than that.

As part of this distracting obsession, I notice when there's a Corvette. And I offer it a moment of pause and reverence. Usually accompanied by a not-so-silent "Mmmm" or "Ooooh" or "Ah" or other covetous sound. Well, when I was in Arizona, I saw an awful lot of Corvette's. So my conversations with Merideth were frequently interrupted by 'ooh's and 'ah's. After water aerobics one day, we walked out into the parking lot and I let out an 'Mmmm'. To which Merideth bewilderedly responded, "Buick?"

Looking over, I realized all she could see was a lot of empty parking stalls and a buick sitting all alone in the middle. Ha HA! Sorry Buick - but my "Mmm" was most definitely not meant for you.

Vacation!!

2011-07-22T11:09:00.001-06:00

This post was supposed to be posted a month ago. Pretend that's what happened, ok? As part of my 'take back', I flew to Arizona to visit Merideth! :) :) Best idea...EVER! Here are some of the highlights - not in any particular order.:)
- Water aerobics (although sadly, not with the howling instructor)
- Getting addicted to Drop Dead Diva
- Learning that Utah is not really hot at all
- Shopping at Charming Charlie's
- Chatting oustside in the dark (the only time it is safe to be chatting outside in AZ)
- Homemade Chocolate Lava cake with Strawberry Vanilla ice cream
- Grasshopper pie
- Kalua pork
- Grilled corn
- Fresh Wood Fired pizza
And best of all,
- HANGING OUT WITH MERIDETH!! :) :) :)

Thanks my friend for a wonderful vacation!

The 26 Year Old Tag Along

2011-07-18T09:36:00.000-06:00

So, this weekend my singles ward had a party on Friday night. Rumor has it there was dancing until the wee hours of the morning. Then, Saturday the stake had a hoe down - again, dancing until the wee hours of the morning. Several people even got dates out of these great dance parties. Where was I? Not at the party. Not at the hoe down. No, I was watching a movie with my Mom and Dad both nights. And suddenly it begins to make sense why I have no social life.

Dear next awesome singles ward event,
I promise to at least seriously consider coming, instead of being perfectly content to hang out with my parents watching movies.
Love,
Me

Life Lessons

2011-07-13T10:55:00.027-06:00

In light of my last post, here are a few life lessons I've learned from my cousin:

- "15 minutes + dark alley = happy big brother" (posted on Facebook after his younger sister's boyfriend broke up with her)

- "I will break both his thumbs. Have you ever seen a guy zip up his pants with broken thumbs? You can't do ANYTHING with broken thumbs." (again said after his sisters boyfriend broke up with her)

- Family is everything. Without family, there isn't anything else.

- Your Mother is someone you should adore, trust, confide in and seek council from. She is your greatest friend and biggest fan.

- Bear your testimony to your children and siblings often - you never know when you'll run out of opportunities to do so.

- Tell your spouse how much you adore them every day - because if it ends up being your last one, you will have no regrets and neither will they.

- 'It takes a bigger man to change a diaper than it does to leave it for your wife. It takes a bigger man to help with the dishes or clean the house than to leave it for your wife. There is no such thing as women's work - it's all just work."

- Learn the scriptures. Don't just read them - make them part of you.

- Always keep Christ at the center of everything you do. If He is already a part of your home and your heart, it will be much easier for Him to comfort you through the trying times in life.

Life is Fragile

2011-07-12T10:55:00.000-06:00

Two weeks ago our family was reminded just how fragile life is. My cousin passed away very unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm. He was only 34 years old and left behind his wife and their 5 young children. Not to mention leaving a grieving mother, father, sisters and countless family members and friends whose lives have been changed by the wonderful man that he was. It was very much a tragedy.
As we attended his funeral and as I had conversations with family members, I was reminded of a few beautiful, simple truths for which I am extremely grateful.

God lives. He is our loving Father in Heaven. He has a plan - a perfect plan. And though we may not understand it at times, it is still perfect. When He calls us to pass through trials such as this, we most certainly are not alone. Because of the Atonement of our Savior, families truly can be together forever. Death cannot rob us of the promised blessings of the saving ordinances of The Gospel - especially the bond of a temple sealing.

How grateful I am for those precious truths and so many others. How grateful I am that because of the Gospel, Marks widow could stand and bear testimony of The Savior and express faith and courage in the face of such a horrible, life-shattering tragedy. How grateful I am for the opportunity to learn from Mark's example and try to be more like him, in an effort, ultimately, to be more like The Savior.

The Old Fart

2011-07-05T12:01:00.030-06:00

I like running ahead of the group - (figuratively of course. Those of you who may have had the misfortunate of being in PE with me will surely remember the chubby, out of shape, socially awkward teenager wheezing miles behind the last runner...). I seem to have been the youngest in a lot of things - most of my college classes, the sisters in my branch at the MTC, my department at work. I like being the youngest. I like having a false, unearned sense that I am doing something with my life sooner than the average person.

But I have reached a horrible point in my life - that sense of accomplishment has completely crumbled. I am no longer the youngest. I have passed the mark of 'mid-20's'. I find myself telling people that I am 27 and calculating life as though I were 27 and only have 3 more years until I'm 30 and kicked out of my singles ward, because obviously once you pass the mark of 25, what's one more year? But I'm NOT 27 - I am barely 26! It's like Christmas every time I remember that I have 4 years until I'm 30 and kicked out of my singles ward (among other things). And what was previously completely unachievable in 3 years is most certainly attainable in 4! I just hope I don't squander this precious little secret year that I've found. :)

The Take Back

2011-06-30T12:01:00.000-06:00

A good friend of mine declared this as the summer for taking back her life. I am officially jumping on her bandwagon and declaring this as the summer of reclaiming my life. I have spent too long trying to do the responsible thing and planning for a future outside my reach. I am done waiting and planning and hoping. Life is what we make of it - it's time to start making!

The Squeakquel

2011-03-12T10:22:00.000-07:00

So last night my family and I watched The Chipmunks, The Squeakquel. At one part in the movie, the girl chipmunks are singing in the band room of the school and the camera cuts to a bunch of clips of kids throughout the school dancing to the high pitched voices being broadcast loudly on the PA system. And then it cuts back to the band room, now filled with students cheering and dancing to the music. While watching this scene, Matthew said sarcastically, "Right."

I just stared at him.. Seriously?! The fact that the whole movie is based on chipmunks with more intelligence than the average 5th grader who sing, dance and wear trendy little outfits - that's not unrealistic. The fact that they drive motorcycles and fly themselves around town on remote control helicopters - that's not unbelievable. But students dancing to their music or stopping in the band room to gawk at them - that my friends is mind blowing, absolutely not possible and completely incomprehensible.

I know the kid is a genius - but he seriously needs to get out more.

Puppy Love

2011-02-18T08:49:00.001-07:00

Note to self: Surgery + Small Puppy = lot's of disasters.

Somehow my dog knows I can't chase her. So she does naughty things. Like eating the dressings off my foot. Or stealing my socks. Or jumping on my face. Or making a mess of everything - including the contents of every garbage can in my house. Or barking at the door or other random things because I can't punish her. Or stealing my mac and cheese and putting her adorable little face in every bite of food I try to take. And that short list doesn't even touch what she's managed to do this week. But, inspite of her being so naughty - she is just too stinking cute!

I Fell For You

2011-02-16T08:39:00.000-07:00

Today marks 7 days since I went in for foot surgery. It's been an interesting 7 days. Here are the highlights:

Day 1 - Thursday
- Showed up to the hospital exactly on time - only to find my appointment had been moved up and no one bothered to tell me. Consequently, the doctor and I arrived at exactly the same time
- Was momentarily extremely impressed with the hospital gown that hooks in to a never-ending source of warm air before going under
- Spent a pleasant afternoon on a warm beach with crashing waves (which I hope wasn't me drooling)
- Impressed the nurse with my mad wheelchair navigation skills on my post-op potty run
- Made record surgery time by walking (okay, being wheeled out) of the hospital exactly 2 hours and 1 minute after walking in ... approximately
- Realized that allergies to pain meds = no pain meds that work = ouch + vomiting!
- Spent a disgusting amount of time in the chair at my parents' house
- Still made it home (somehow) to sleep in my own bed

Day 2 - Friday
- Spent the entire day in the chair at my parents' house
- Found a precious, albeit illegal stash of meds in my Mom's safe and finally found pain relief

Day 3 - Saturday
- Took my first post-op shower...sitting on a bucket
- Switched things up a bit by sitting half of the day in my chair and the other half in the chair at my parents' house

Day 4 - Sunday
- Went to Sacrament Meeting
- Became horribly aware of how awkward I look using crutches
- Was almost overwhelmed by all the wonderful people in the ward that offered to help me out
- Slept in my chair through the rest of church

Day 5 - Monday
- Started working from home
- Tripped on a dog toy and fell on my bad foot
- Cried like a baby for a really long time
- Recovered enough to spend the evening sitting in the chair at my parents' surrounded by family friends for a fantastic family home evening
- Ate way too much chocolate cake and homemade raspberry ice cream - but felt fully justified as compensation for my earlier pain and suffering

Day 6 - Tuesday
- Passed the post-op follow up with the doctor with flying...or swollen colors
- Watched 7 episodes of Psych
- Went out to eat for lunch
- Got more weird looks at the awkwardness that is me on crutches
- Got a knee scooter - watch out world!

Day 7 - Wednesday
-Wrote this blog...aren't you glad?!

Career Killer

2011-02-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

I got an email from my client last week. My boss, my boss' boss and several other people were copied. She single handedly killed my career. I mean seriously, who writes things like 'Who needs luck when they have KRISTINE! Go get 'em Tiger!"

Yep. There goes my career. My honor. My family name. My self respect. My dignity. My credibility with ANYONE in the office. Oh, and did I mention my career?

Hoarder

2011-02-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of my dog - apparently I am now a hoarder. This is how lunch with the coworkers went down last week:

I pulled off my straw wrapper, wadded it into a little ball and stuck it in my pocket. My coworker leaned over and said, "You don't have to keep that, you know."

It took me like two minutes to figure out what the heck she was talking about. Then it dawned on me. My dog has conditioned me to put all small objects, pieces of paper and anything eatable, breathable or chewable in my pocket.

And that was the beginning of the harrasments of what my closets must look like - all stuffed with tiny balls of straw wrappers and old junk mailers. Thanks Piper. Thanks so much.

Potty Talk

2011-02-04T18:49:00.000-07:00

I used to be totally fine with bathroom conversation. The casual kind when friends went to the bathroom together and conversation continued as usual. Then I had a co-worker who was horribly terrified of talking to anyone in the bathroom. Thanks to her, now, I awkwardly avoid eye contact and conversation whenever I'm in the bathroom.

I walked into the bathroom at work this morning. There were two ladies from 'the other side of the building'. They were engaged in jovial conversation - which promptly ceased as soon as I walked in. The lady by the counter stared at me as I awkwardly made my way to a stall. The other lady was still in a stall and obviously wasn't bothered by my presence - she continued the conversation. I wasn't really interested in what they were discussing, so I didn't really pay attention. Then, out of nowhere, I hear: "Well, Mike has been known to inspire several man crushes."

How do you even react to that?

One of Those Mornings

2011-01-27T09:33:00.001-07:00

So...this morning started out well. This is what I found:

Don't worry - it's on my elbow. Not somewhere scandalous like my ankle. But I don't know how it got there. It's a deep one - you would think I would have noticed something...pain maybe? Nope. Not a thing. No clue how I got it.

See that big crack across the building? Yeah, not so much a crack in the building - but the crack in my windshield that I witnessed being created on my way to work this morning.

And finally, this is what my bathroom looked like when I got in the shower:

This is what it looked like when I got out:

Please tell me the rest of the day isn't going to be like this!!

Cats and Dogs

2011-01-19T15:17:00.000-07:00

My brother's cat, Kronos and Piper have a close and loving relationship. See -

Sorry it's a little dark. And please ignore my brother yelling at the cat to not beat down the dog with claws. Apparently the beat down is fine - just not the claws.

Naughty Little Puppy

2011-01-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

Piper is a pill. Here is the prequel to this story: She LOVES food. She is most definitely my dog. :) We have never fed her from the table because we didn't want her to learn that meal time for us was meal time for her. Little did we know that it is not a learned behavior - I swear she was born with it! Since the day we brought her home, anytime anyone eats anything, she is right there, looking up at you with pitiful little eyes - just begging you to share your tasty morsels with her. Then she roams around the floor looking for crumbs. And if it hits the floor - it's hers. Doesn't matter what it is or if you meant to drop it - you have surrendered it.

So, the other night I came home and grabbed a snack size box of Cheerios out of the cupboard - thinking it would be a good evening snack. Well, I started reading and stopped paying attention to my Cheerios. I bumped the box and it toppled on to the floor. I quickly started cleaning up the pile - but she was faster. She started inhaling the Cheerios as fast as she could. You could hear her almost choking because she was eating them so fast. You can say dogs are dumb - but she knew exactly what she was doing. The good news is, it was a whole serving of heart-healthy whole grains .... plus, maybe it will lower her cholesterol!

Bits and Pieces

2010-12-21T10:16:00.001-07:00

Random thoughts for today:

- I hate snow

- I hate driving in snow

- I love that my computer is finally fixed

- I love that the peppermint stick my coworker gave me tasted delightful in my morning cup of cocoa

- I love coming home to this cute little girl every day

Can I just break off from the list of random thoughts and say that in leiu of actually finding a husband and starting a family with adorable babies (which seems to be a perpetual stumbling block for me) - my dog is a pretty great place holder. She feeds herself, she sleeps through the night, I can still dress her in cute little sweaters (though the one in the picture is strictly for warmth - not fashion...I haven't quite crossed that line...yet), and best of all - she's already potty trained. I love this dog! Seriosly - who wouldn't want to come home to that adorable face and her cute little tail wagging excitedly?!

The Virus

2010-12-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

So...I know winter is the peak season for colds and viruses and all that yucky stuff - but I didn't think I needed to vaccinate my computer. Friday after lunch I turned on my computer and it obviously had a virus. So...I turned it off and took it to IT, expecting it to be working in a few minutes. I ran a couple of quick errands and came back anticipating it would be all healthy again. Well, IT hadn't even touched it. So, I finally gave up after looking through hair magazines with my boss for an hour and went home.

Nice to start the weekend early? Not really.

Saturday I ran into one of the IT guys at Wal-Mart. He said he didn't fix my computer on Friday but promised he would work on it Monday morning. He broke the horrible news that it wouldn't be ready until at least Monday afternoon.

Nice to sleep in on Monday morning? Not really.

I didn't even get to sleep in. I still had to come in on time this morning (mostly on time that is) - knowing full well I wouldn't be able to get anything done on time and I wouldn't even have my computer back until well into the afternoon. And so, here I sit - doing what tiny amounts of work I can do on my work on my personal computer via Instant Messenger. Fan-freakin-tastic! But hey, at least my computer isn't contagious. Achoo!

11 Pipers Piping

2010-12-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

Today I went home and played with Piper at lunch. Since it was such a nice day, James and I took her outside to play in the yard for a while. For those of you who haven't been to my parents' house, they have 1/2 an acre. Not too big. But the side yard is pretty big. And it's the full 1/2 acre in length. Well, that's where we were playing with the pooch. She followed me down to the far end and James stayed at the other end. He called to her and she came running back toward him - just as fast as she could. But, because her legs are so tiny and her steps don't carry her very far - 'as fast as she could' still took her a full couple of minutes to cross the yard. It was like watching a slow motion clip from a movie where the underdog (no pun intended) is running and you are sitting, riveted, on the edge of your seat hoping and cheering them on. By the time she finally got to him, I was panting and out of breath for her. Watching her run is going to be my new work out - I get tired just thinking about it. That has to count for something, right?

Snips and Snails, and Puppy Dogs Tails

2010-12-03T08:17:00.000-07:00

Every little kids dream is to wake up Christmas morning and find a puppy under the tree. Maybe it was the nagging of this unfulfilled childhood dream that spawned this decision, but this is how I become a dog lady. Wednesday afternoon, I gave in to the temptation to look for puppies on KSL.com. This is what I saw:

That face!! How could I resist?! I immediately called the lady and asked if we could come check out this puppy. Now, mind you, I've been vacillating about getting a puppy for over a year - since I moved into my house actually. But, I've had a million good reasons to avoid making that giant leap. But when we finally arrived at a random house in north Layton, Matthew and I anxiously went inside to meet this little girl. As soon as she brought her out - it was all over. She was so much cuter than her picture! And such a sweetheart! No barking or yapping, she just put her paws in Matt's jacket and snuggled up against him. He was smitten. I could see it all over his face. And...honestly, so was I. So, meet Piper - the newest member of the Cox Clan. She's hilarious so I'm warning you in advance, there may be several posts (with lots more pictures) about this dog coming soon!

Pop! Goes the Tire!

2010-11-30T13:37:00.001-07:00

So, last night I thought I was awesome. I was driving on I-15. I was heading to Provo to pick up my visiting teaching companion and be an awesome visiting teacher. I was almost late but had just enough time to be only fashionably late. Thinking I was awesome was my first mistake. Taking I-15 in the middle of road construction was my second.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I hit a crater in the middle of the road. Thankfully it was less eventful than in the movies - and though my teeth chattered and my hair went whipping with the force of impact, my car came out of the crater in one piece and did not launch itself violently into the other lanes of traffic. But, shortly thereafter, my poor little car started hobbling along like a broken old man. It wobbled and lurched and sputtered and shook violently.

I was conveniently located a good distance from the next exit, so in keeping with the spirit of a broken old man, I pulled into the right lane and drove 20 MPH with my flashers on. If you were stuck behind a moron going 20 on the freeway at approximately 8:36 pm last night - yeah, that was me. We hobbled our way to the exit and pulled into the gas station where I realized that the passengers side door seemed significantly further off the ground than my own door. I called my Mom who wrangled my Dad into the car and they came heroically to my aid - in the middle of my Mom's favorite TV shows, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the freezing weather.

I stood helplessly as I watched my 50-some-odd-year-old parents change my tire. At one point, my Mom even lifted the car by herself. Sure, I stood by her and tried to lift, but I'm pretty sure the only person doing anything was her. Maybe it was just her motherly instinct, but after last night, I am thoroughly convinced that my Mom and Dad are really superheroes masquerading as my parents. And, after all these years of struggling and fighting to be 'independent', I finally realize just how truly dependent I am on them. Thanks Mom and Dad for always coming to my rescue. And thanks for being mine!

The Death of a Phone

2010-11-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

Today I came to the stark realization that just because you can use a cell phone, doesn't mean you are qualified to work for the cell phone company. Reason:

My phone died on Friday. Saturday I went to the T-Mobile store to see if they could help me out. It wouldn't charge and it wouldn't turn on correctly. So, I figured my battery was probably just bad. They gave me a new SIM card - that didn't fix the problem. So, the girl told me to call T-Mobile and they should send me a replacement because my phone was less than a year old. I wanted to say -HOW am I supposed to call them? MY PHONE IS DEAD! I did ask what number I was supposed to call - I am sure some people memorize random useless customer service phone numbers just for fun ... but I have better things to do with my spare time and three brain cells. I also asked her if she was sure all of my contacts were transferred to the new SIM card. She was obviously annoyed as she gave me the number and said that either my contacts were on the SIM card or my phone. Thanks, that's helpful.

Well, I called T-Mobile. Of course they can't replace it - I'm just a peon on a gigantic corporate account and I'm 'not authorized' to replace my own dead phone.

So, I waited until I came to work. I submitted the request for a new phone. I got a 'loaner' phone from HR until the new one arrives. I put my SIM card in the 'loaner' and found that all my contacts were not on my SIM card. So, I drove BACK to the T-Mobile store to ask her if she could pull my contacts (all 237 of them) off my dead phone and put them on the SIM card. I didn't ask this because I didn't know HOW to transfer them from Phone to SIM - but because MY PHONE WAS DEAD and I couldn't do it myself. She was like, "well, if your phone won't turn on, then there's nothing I can do for you." She gave me some crap about finding a computer and checking their website to see if maybe possibly my contacts might have been saved to an online account which I cannot access because, again, I am a peon and I'm 'not authorized' to do so! I finally said...."Could you maybe try another battery and see if it will turn on?"

To which she almost exasperatedly said, "You mean you haven't tried another battery?" How do you respond to that? "Oh my gosh! I totally forgot that I have like six spare batteries in my drawer at home. Why didn't I totally think to do that before? You are the smartest person ever! For sure!" Duh! They seriously need to do something about their hiring standards.

Smooth Move. Ex-lax!

2010-11-12T15:02:00.000-07:00

Is it bad that I'm still snickering to myself that my coworker just told us her daughter wants to get monogrammed M & M's for her wedding and the initials of the bride + the groom = BM?

HCG FREE!

2010-10-26T08:49:00.000-06:00

Okay, I've officially been off the HCG diet for 9 days. And oh what a liberating 9 days it has been! The whole world is full of endless caloric possibilities. In fact, right this minute I am basking in the goodness of cookies for breakfast. So, from the sugar saturated seat I now fill - here is my take on the HCG diet.

The Bad...and The Ugly:
1. Thanks to HCG, I am now hyper aware of how much protein I am NOT eating every day, how much water I am NOT drinking every day, how few fruits and veggies I eat on a regular day and how ridiculous my carb and sugar intakes are. I feel healthier - don't you?

2. Again thanks to HCG, every time I eat something that should fill me with joy, happiness and a positive outlook on life - I get sick. Sometimes I get violently ill...sometimes only a little queasy. But either way, this diet has robbed me of my culinary best friend - sugar! (Yes, I will be paying for my cookies for breakfast soon enough).

3. For me, it was totally beyond not worth it. Extreme starvation promises extreme weight loss - I just starved. I'm still waiting for that promised weight loss.

The Good:
1. Being hyper aware of what is going into my body has made it a lot easier to consistently choose more healthy food and make sure my diet stays more well balanced than before (well, except the occasional slip...like my cookies :)).

2. Even though I lament the loss of my comfort foods - perhaps getting sick when I eat sugar isn't such a bad thing. It is definitely a deterrent.

3. The HCG diet makes exercise look good. It's sad when something is so bad it can make exercise look desirable. But this diet definitely does . I can either starve....or I can eat what I want and exercise. The latter is so much more appealing these days (though...don't be fooled. Just because it SOUNDS more appealing doesn't mean I actually do it.)

But by all means, don't be discouraged by my less than optimistic view. My co-workers seem to have fallen in love with the diet. They are all back on it again. But part of me, though eating cookies for breakfast is not the norm, is grateful that I CAN eat cookies for breakfast if I want them. And that...that is epic.

You Might be on HCG If...

2010-10-18T10:00:00.000-06:00

If this list isn't wildly hilarious to you...you've probably never 1) been on the HCG diet or 2) been around someone who is for an extended period of time. Just sayin.

10. Binging means eating an extra Melba Toast
9. You begin each day discussing how much of a ‘loser’ you are
8. Your worst enemy is that dang water bottle
7. The highlight of your afternoon is apple time
6. You spend more time with the restroom than you do with your family
5. You weigh everything before you eat it
4. Your daydreams involve peanut butter and white bread
3. You have spent three weeks planning your ‘first meal’
2. You…must…eat….lunch…at exactly 12:00!
And Finally…
1. You are delighted every time you….well, we all know what

I'm Delighted!

2010-10-15T10:00:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I have to warn you - this post is not young, innocent child friendly. So, if you fall into that category. Stop reading now and go back to your happy place. If not, read on.

The day that I started the HCG diet, one of my co-workers, who is kind of a lifer on this diet (she does it....breaks the diet....starts over....breaks the diet....and so the cycle continues) sent me the HCG diet e-book. So, of course I read it. Well, in the course of reading it...this is what I found:

"An excess of water keeps the feces soft, and that is very important in the obese,
who commonly suffer from constipation and a spastic colon. While a patient is
under treatment we never permit the use of any kind of laxative taken by mouth.
We explain that owing to the restricted diet it is perfectly satisfactory and normal to
have an evacuation of the bowel only once every three to four days and that,
provided plenty of fluids are taken, this never leads to any disturbance."

Well, that is surely an overshare. But here is where it gets really good:

"Patients who observe this rule find that after treatment they have a
perfectly normal bowel action and this delights many of them almost as much as
their loss of weight."

Seriously?!?! Why would you EVER write that in ANY book for ANY reason?! Needless to say, my coworkers have turned it into the interoffice joke. At least once a day, as someone returns from a visit to the restroom, someone else asks - in a mocking tone while clapping their hands excitedly - 'Ooh. Are you delighted?!' As crude and rude and workplace inappropriate as it may be...it is absolutely hysterical. Are you delighted?

The Break Up

2010-10-13T10:50:00.000-06:00

Here is part 2 of the HCG weekend saga:

I had been so good all weekend. I didn't cheat on the diet once. But Sunday night, I just couldn't take it anymore. Too many people with too many good things to eat. So, I decided I wanted to have some chocolate chips. They are semi-sweet - so that's better than it could be, right?
Well, I went into the kitchen and proudly declared that I was going to eat them. Big mistake. Matthew grabbed my arms and restrained me from getting the bag. Then, when I did get the bag, he wrestled with me - but, my mad craze for chocolate made me stronger than ten men and I won. I happily grabbed a huge handful and put them in a napkin so I could enjoy my much needed splurge.
Then James saw me. He tackled me to the couch. And he is NOT a small child. My strength turned to weakness as his ridiculously strong arms bested me. As he pried the luscious chocolate pieces from my tightly clenched fist, I cried out, 'NO!!!! I NEED them! I NEED them!' To which my Mother, through her laughter, replied, 'This is intervention'. I responded, 'I don't need intervention. I NEED chocolate!'
But, alas, my pleas didn't save my chocolate. They did, however, result in James standing as a bodyguard betwixt me and the kitchen for the rest of the evening. I'm sure the kitchen felt safer even though I didn't.

Reruns

2010-10-11T10:24:00.000-06:00

So, this past weekend, I had some rather entertaining experiences - I am blaming them entirely on the carb-starved state of my brain. Entirely! Here is part 1:

Sunday night we were watching an older movie. We started watching the previews and reminiscing about movies from the 90's. Then an ad came on for an old TV show like 90210. It said is was going to start airing every Wednesday night at 6:30. So I started ragging on it, saying things like 'Why are they bringing this TV show back? They don't even have a new cast. At least the new 90210 has a different cast. This one isn't even different. It's like they're just running reruns of the old show. That's so dumb. Why would they even do that?'
It was about that time that I realized that I was ragging on an outdated, movie preview - not a live commercial. Somehow between the previous preview and the current preview I had completely forgotten that we were even watching a movie. I don't think weight is the only thing I've lost on this diet!

HCG and Me

2010-10-07T13:13:00.000-06:00

Ok, I admit it. I jumped on the bandwagon of the HCG diet ... exactly 14 days ago. Yes, I am painfully aware of EXACTLY how long I have been on this thing. It was a peer pressure induced decision really. Everyone at work was going on the diet and frankly, I felt left out. It hasn't been nearly as hard or miserable as I envisioned. But putting my take of the diet aside, here's a story to illistrate what happens when your brain isn't getting nearly enough carbs.

On Tuesday, I was walking to a meeting and heard someone walking quickly behind me. So I moved to the side so they could pass and turned around just to see who it was. There wasn't anyone there. "Ok" I thought, "They probably just turned and went to their desk. No big deal." So, I started walking again. And I heard the footsteps again. I turned to see who was behind me and again, no one. This time I stopped. I looked around several times and waited for the person to come up behind me again. No footsteps.

Slowly, I started forward. Then I heard them. But then I also realized what 'they' were. The dangly thing on my jacket was rythmically slapping against my leg with each step I took. The sound it made was pretty dang close to footsteps. I wonder what that scene looked like from Heaven? And since The Lord can hear my thoughts at the same time that He is watching this little paranoid display...I'm sure He got a good laugh out of it. My boss sure did. And that's how I followed myself down the hall.

Watch Your Step!

2010-10-03T10:07:00.000-06:00

Last Friday night a group of friends went to the Brad Paisley concert at the Usana Ampitheater. I used to love country music. I used to love Brad Paisley. Used to would be the operative phrase there. My friend asked me to go and though I don't love Brad Paisley or country music anymore, I do love my friend. So I went. Everything was good until it got dark and cold and darker and colder. Cold is not my friend. So, I decided to sit down and wrap up in a blanket to get warm.

It was mostly working and though I looked asleep - I was mostly comfortable. Then, out of the blue, some drunk guy totally stepped on me!!! And then he bent over to apologize and he fell on top of me! Totally awkward. Finally he got up and walked away. But he left me there in some serious pain! It was kind of ironic though - we had been watching him and making snide remarks about him before he was drunk...he was totally a player. Maybe that was his way to get back at us for our less than charitable comments.

Either way - I decided this was the perfect opportunity to make a break for my warm car and enjoy (if you can use that word) the rest of the concert in warmth and comfort. I realized just before putting my shoe on that the open waterbottle that had been resting in it was now obliterated by my new inebriated friend. I tipped it and a water gushed out. Nice.

Thankfully, after slosh-hobbling to my car, the heater dried out my shoe and my ankle was only a swollen beauty for a few days. I'll bring an air horn next time. Although, that could make things worse ... not sure what happens when you scare a drunk, but it sounds dangerous!

You Should Name Him Ralph!

2010-09-27T11:55:00.000-06:00

Okay, so this post is a little past due but hopefully it's awesomeness will make up for it's tardiness. That always seemed to work for me in high school. :) Today marks the two week anniversary of a very momentous occasion. Two weeks ago James, my younger brother, and a friend of ours went to the State Fair. I love the State Fair. And I love going with my brothers. We ride all of the rides...well, except the very scary ones. We eat way too much food and probably laugh too much. Our friend was a welcome addition to our festivities.

We started the night with the usual fabulous food. Then we wandered for a minute to let everything settle before taking on the rides. We started at the far end of the park and worked our way toward our favorite end where all the really good rides are. We finally made it over there and anxiously waited in line to ride the Tilt-a-whirl, our friends' favorite ride. We started out well - strategically placing us in the car according to body weight so we could acheive maximum spin. Mid-way through the ride, I realized our friend was not laughing but instead cupping her hand over her mouth. Thankfully the ride ended and though she had to run furiously to the garbage can to throw up - she made it through the ride. That was a close one.

She decided that since it was her favorite ride and there was now no danger of a repeat ralphing as her stomach was empty - we should take on the Tilt-a-whirl again. So we enthusiastically got in the car and were ready for a fabulous adventure. We were twirling and whirling and then again I realized my friend was not laughing. But this time...it wasn't so lucky. Her hand just wasn't enough. And yep, you guessed it - she puked all over her lap and all down my leg.

Now at this point there was some serious Divine intervention. I am getting sick just typing this story. So living through it, I'm not exactly sure how I didn't lose it all over the innocent carnival ride. But I didn't. But I think I may leave the carnival riding to the standard tradition of just me + brothers. Just sayin.

The People at Work

2010-08-21T11:23:00.000-06:00

Sadly, my coworkers brother passed away last week. Though expected and anticipated - death is never welcome. Understandably, she took the rest of the week off. My boss and I (okay, so really just my boss - though I supported the idea 100%) decided to send her some flowers to express our condolences. She called and ordered the flowers and left them a message to add to the card - pretty standard proceedure.
Well, on the way to lunch Friday, another coworker asked if we had sent flowers to Stacy. We said yes and then questioned why she was asking. She said she talked to Stacy the day before just to see how she was holding up and Stacy said she had received a beautiful boquet of flowers but the card was simply signed from "The people at work".
Obviously Stacy was a little confused as there are a LOT of 'people at work' and she wasn't quite sure which people the card was referring to. We got a great laugh out of it. James, one of the 'people at work' said he will forever sign his cards like that. "From the person who is your husband" or "From the person who is your son". I think that is a great idea! And, I think maybe the 'people at the flowershop' were not native English speakers...

Well, I hope you all have a great day!
From,
The person who is your friend

Runnin', Runnin', Runnin', Runnin'

2010-08-02T15:52:00.000-06:00

My dear roommate Melissa decided to start running every morning. I decided I should feel morally obligated to run with her. This is how that worked out for me last week.

Monday morning I was going to run with her. The alarm went off....so I turned it off and went back to sleep. Monday night I went to the store and bought new clothes so I had no excuse not to go running with her in the morning. I was totally pumped and completely motivated. I was even going to bed early! Then she broke the sad news to me....she was only running Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So...I slept in the next morning.

Wednesday ... the alarm went off. My motivation rolled over and went back to sleep...so I followed it's example.

Thursday... I was totally pumped to go running again... but it wasn't a running day, so I slept in.
Thursday night I bought a five-hour energy shot (which I have never taken before) so I could take it when the alarm went off at 6:15 and I was sure I would be pacing at the door by the time Melissa was ready to go running.

Friday morning...the alarm went off. I don't even really remember turning off the alarm and going back to sleep. I just remember waking up much later than the time Melissa left to go running.

So, I have come to two conclusions: 1- I hate running. I REALLY hate running because 2- even subconsciously I am trying to sabotage my exercise efforts!

Little Man Syndrome

2010-07-30T15:44:00.000-06:00

I know I've talked about the Yudu machine from Provo Craft before - well, someone just called into the Yudu infomercial line with the greatest story about the Yudu I think I've ever heard.

Apparently, their parents were happily camping when a bear came into camp and was going to attack them. Well, their brave little chihuahua jumped in and attacked the bear back. Then the chihuahua managed to scare the bear away. So now, these people are using their Yudu machine to make t-shirts to help them raise money to pay the medical bills for the chihuahua that is in the pet hospital.

Is it terribly sick and twisted that I think that is hilarious?! If this dog is anything like my neighbor's chihuahua, which totally has little man (or little dog) syndrome...then, I could totally see why it thought it could take on a bear. I am just amazed that it didn't get squished! I totally want a t-shirt with some random chihuahua on it that says something fantastic like 'The chihuahua that defeated the bear!'

Rebel Without a Cause

2010-06-24T09:41:00.000-06:00

So....I almost got arrested last night. Why, you ask? Because I was walking home. Seriously! I was talking to a great friend on the phone and decided to go for a walk around my block. Well, the block by my house isn't really a block - it's like a never-ending maze. I live by the railroad tracks...that means there aren't roads where there should be roads!

I walked for a while and got sick of looking for a non-existent road where I could cross the tracks. I could see my street from where I was standing and thought 'Well, it's just right there! I'll just walk across the tracks and catch that little road over there on the other side.'

Needless to say, as soon as I started walking across the tracks, I heard someone yell "Hey!". I turned around and there was a cop hanging out his window and driving toward me. Now, my first instinct told me to run. I did not, however, heed that primal instinct. I ever so calmly told my friend I was afraid our conversation had reached it's end, hung up and started walking back toward the cop car.

The first thing he said was 'What part of No Trespassing don't you understand?!'. I honestly hadn't even seen any No Trespassing signs...that's what I get for staring at my feet and talking on the phone. He pointed around to a few of the posted signs....sure enough...there were tons of them! And they were HUGE! I thought to myself, "Oh, yeah...THOSE signs. Those HUGE signs right in front of my face that I totally didn't see....how the heck did I miss those?!" But what came out of my mouth was, "oh. Sorry."

Thankfully I have my concealed weapons permit - that makes Cops nice to you cuz they think your on the same team as them (well, so they say anyway...). It sure worked this time. He looked at my license, said "You have your concealed weapons permit? Well, have a nice night." Then he let me walk away, all unarrested.

And that would be how I almost spent a night in the slammer. I wonder what they would have classified that as if I had called in to work from the prison this morning - it's not a sick day...it's not a floating holiday (though, that may be the most applicable) and it's definitely not a vacation...hmm...I am going to have to ask my boss about that ... for future reference.

Best Job EVA!

2010-06-16T16:04:00.000-06:00

Oh my heck! I quite possibly...most probably...definitely have THE BEST JOB EVER! I can't even do it justice. I need a video link to adequately illistrate how amazing my job is. And it's all because of my awesome coworkers. This is a synopsis of my day so far:

First thing this morning I got a meeting invite. It was to officially invite me to join the office in doing the Macarena at precisely 3:30 this afternoon. And...in case we didn't know how to do the Macarena, there was a link to a great instructional video...here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlzwuFkn88U

This invite was quickly followed by this email from the meeting coordinator:
"Please keep in mind…that declining is not an option and those responses will be deleted."

Next came an email from a coworker with this question:
"Can we all wear belly shirts like the girl in the video?"

Then, my boss jumped in:
"I’ll bring a pair of scissors and we can all cut the bottom half of our shirts off. Thanks for coordinating this team building activity!"

Another coworker added:
"And I think we should add a pool of guacamole."

Sadly, the belly shirts were vetoed. And no one ever got the guacamole. But at 3:27 I was tasked with finding the original (or as my coworker said, 'the one that the old guys sing!) version of the Macarena to play. Then, turning my poor little laptop up as loud as it would go, we marched to the appointed meeting place and pressed play. Heads popped over cubicles, and people started to drift over. But we had to stop the music and festivities because another coworker was on a phone call (with her boss ironically. And he asked 'Are you in the office?').

But don't you fear - that didn't deter us. We went around the corner to someone's cube and started it over. Everyone who was there started dancing. Three clap and turns into the song, my coworker (they shall all remain nameless) ... started bustin a move. She was ridin' a donkey. Then she grabbed the edge of the cube and started acting like she was pole dancing. Oh man! My boss' boss came out of her office because all of us were laughing so hard we could breathe! We were seriously all crying we were laughing so hard. It was hilarious! It's funnier if you actually know these awesome coworkers - but I definitely think this stands alone in it's unparalleled awesomeness without knowing them! Yeah, definitely have the best job ever!

If You're Going to Say it Wrong, Get it Right!

2010-06-01T16:09:00.000-06:00

So I went to lunch on Saturday with my Aunt and my Mom ... and a few other people, but they were the key players. Several people at the table started talking about their cell phones -what kind they had, whether they liked that model, etc. when my Aunt piped up and said, 'Yeah, I just got a new Blueberry!'

Amidst the laughter that naturally ensued, she said "That's what happens when the Bluetooth and the Blackberry mate.'

And then, a few minutes later, my Mom says, in all seriousness, 'We HAVE to go to the store tonight - we're all out of Mondays!' Pretty sure she meant milk ... pretty sure she didn't say milk. Pretty sure it was dang funny! I'm also pretty sure I'm going to sound just like them when I grow up!

I Herd You

2010-05-27T12:42:00.000-06:00

So imagine, you walk into the ten stall restroom at work and realize you are completely and utterly alone. This for me is a moment when there is 'much rejoicing'. I definitely appreciate solitude and privacy - especially in certain aspects of life...this being one of them. Soon the door opens and an unidentifiable coworker enters the room. Out of the nine remaining, totally empty, completely usable stalls...she goes in to the stall RIGHT next to you.
Living proof that humans are definitely mammals - we have this, sometimes insurmountable, need to be with our herd, our pack, our flock...well, I guess that's fowl. But it WAS fowl that she used the stall right next to me! Lame. Tomorrow I'll bring caution tape and tape off the surrounding area. Although I'm not sure the unidentifiable coworker would be able to use the restroom then. She might have to go back and get a buddy.

Runner Without Shoes

2010-05-26T14:06:00.001-06:00

So...I recently came to a realization about myself. I...I am a runner. No, I don't own any fancy running shoes - in fact, I run better in my regular, every day shoes. No, I haven't spent an unreasonable amount on running clothes to reduce friction and help me run faster - in fact, I run better in my regular, every day clothes. I didn't buy an Ipod and Earbuds to run with - I can run without music. I never pictured myself as a runner. Most people I know wouldn't say they picture me as a runner. But I am definitely a runner. I run - I run from men. I run from commitment. I run from stable, promising relationships.
As soon as they make 'the move' or we have 'the talk' - I bolt. I thought for sure this time would be different. But it appears I am getting too good at running...too used to it. Maybe subconsciously I get some sort of satisfaction...a 'runners high', if you will. It doesn't really matter why I run ... I just do. And I have to find a way to stop running ... ... ...

Just In Case I Forget

2010-05-11T21:32:00.000-06:00

Okay, can I first just say that I LOVE my job and my coworkers! I started a new job four weeks ago and I am lovin' it! Illustration:
Today was my coworker Sara's birthday. When I first started working there, we all had a conversation about birthdays...mine happened to be the weekend after I started working there.

Well, my other coworker forgot it was Sara's birthday today. Sara reminded her and her apologetic response to being reminded was to turn to me and say 'That means we forgot your birthday! Your birthday was before Sara's!' To which I responded, 'Yeah, but my birthday was like a month ago.' They all 'oh yeah'ed and then, my coworker Stacy randomly says, 'Well, Happy Birthday anyway. And Merry Christmas too - just in case I forget.'

So, Merry Christmas everyone - just in case I forget.

Day 2 in the Great Big Scary World

2010-04-08T14:29:00.000-06:00

At the risk of losing my reputation for being heartless, I am taking a serious moment. THANK YOU to all of you. I have received phone calls, texts, emails, Facebook posts and support from a dozen other technologies. I am overwhelmed by all the wonderful friends I have! I will never deserve you or your kindness! But I am SO grateful for it! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

No Floundering Single-Adult Left Behind Act

2010-04-07T11:36:00.000-06:00

Last night I sent my Austi off to the big scary world of...well, her parents house. No, she is going into the MTC this afternoon and since I don't fall into the 'We share the same blood' category, I don't get to see her again before she goes in. Being the one to go on a mission wasn't so bad. But being the one who gets left behind - well, that really sucks! It means when I go home tonight, I will be totally, utterly, hopelessly alone. I HATE being alone. It also means my brain is kinda short-circuiting right now...trying to find a way to not succumb to the dark abyss of loneliness and hermitage looming on my doorstep. Here are some of my more proactive options:
My 'freaking-out-because-I-hate-being-alone' side is compelling me to make a poorly thought out decision to buy a puppy. Which will surely end in soiled carpets; drooled on, chewed on furniture and a large number of friends who might not come to visit me anymore.
My 'I'm-not-quite-sure-how-to-live-without-Austi-anymore' side says that mortality ought to have a switch. I can switch to angel mode while she is gone and go with her on her mission as her trusty guardian angel, then simply switch back to alive and well mode when she comes home. Too bad the decision to morph into angel mode is...well...irreversable.
And then there's the 'Let's-be-rational-and-deal-with-this-like-a-big-kid' side...I don't know what it's telling me to do. Whatever it's saying, I am not listening. In fact, I never listen. I usually act like a three-year-old with my hands over my ears, singing at the top of my lungs and taunting 'I can't hear you!'
I think I'll resort to my usual method of combating hard things: pretend they don't exist and maybe they'll go away. If I pretend she isn't gone long enough, she won't be! :) Yep, sounds like a good plan to me.

"Best Sleep You Ever Got With a Cold" Medicine

2010-02-11T16:00:00.001-07:00

So last Saturday....yes, I know, it's almost Saturday again. But last Saturday I had a little...adventure. I was not in the most stellar condition. I had been fighting a raging head cold and sinus infection all week long and just couldn't seem to kick it. I woke up coughing my guts out at 7:30ish and decided to go take some cough medicine so I could sleep a little longer. Problem: The only cough medicine I had in my house was PM - you know, the super drowsy don't operate heavy machinery after taking this medicine...ever...PM (Yes, Austi - that hyperexaggeration was just for you. :)). Solution: Take it anyway. How bad could it be?

Coughing adequately suppressed, I went back to bed for a few more hours. Upon waking up, I realized I didn't have my cell phone. I ran to the door to look for it in my car. But it was raining and I was wearing slippers. So I ran back up the stairs, feeling more than a little drugged, and grabbed my sandals. I was hurrying back downstairs with my sandals. I was totally focused on my goal and totally focused on not falling over. Consequently, I turned too sharply and ran into the corner of the doorway into the kitchen. This is NOT an uncommon practice with me and walls. But the wall spoke! It blurted 'Ah!' - like it was surprised I had run into it! I screamed at the top of my lungs, absolutely scared to death and leapt away from the doorway! As I leapt, I also registered...the wall...well, the wall was actually my roommate Austi. And I had just screamed like a little girl and tried to run away from her. The good news is I think I laughed so hard I got most of that blasted cough syrup out of my system. No more Nyquil for me! No, seriously - NO MORE!

The Ugly Tree

2010-02-02T12:24:00.000-07:00

For those of you who instantly recognized the title of this post - I am warning you that this will be a repeat...a very, dreadful repeat. But I decided it is time to bring this story out of the woodwork ... Not so much for my own benefit, but to console friends and aquaintences in their epic, lip-locked struggles. I also decided, that all first kisses should be horrible, awful and highly traumatic. Why? Because horrible, awful and highly traumatic first kisses = HIGHLY entertaining stories for posterity! Anyway, here it goes.

It was my first year at Utah State. I was, yes I admit it, I was the LAST and lingering VL in my apartment. And while I was stubbornly and proudly clinging to that title, along came John. I could tell he really liked me (which should always be the first clue there is something seriously wrong with a man). So I let him take me out on a couple of dates. On our second or third date, it was pretty obvious that he wanted to kiss me. Unfortunately for him, I was not yet resigned to that fate. He drove out to the lake (reservoir, whatever that small body of water in Logan is called) and we took a nice evening stroll out to the dock. He leaned against the railing and put his arms around me. Should've been romantic huh? More like frantic actually. He asked me what I was thinking about and I said something lame like 'Baseball'. So we parried for a while - he asked, I dodged. Finally, he got annoyed and we walked back to the car and drove back to the apartment building. But when we got there, he didn't get out. He looked at the clock and said 'I better get you home before midnight or I will turn into a frog and you'll have to kiss me to get me back.' At this point I had resigned myself to my cruel fate and though my conscience was screaming 'NO!!!!' I responded with something like, 'Why do we have to wait until then?' Of course, that unleashed the beast. He kissed me. He, feeling pretty proud of himself I am sure, asked how it was and I said, without thinking (obviously) 'I don't know. I might need to practice.' Well, needless to say that was his cue. And he kissed me and he kissed me and he kissed me...and I sat, eyes wide open, thinking 'Can I go home now?... I think I just heard a cow.... Wow, that tree is really ugly... No, seriously, that is an ugly tree!'

He finally came up for air, I finally got to go home, and the ugly tree finally got recognized for it's iconic place in my personal history! It's still there, that ugly tree, though thankfully stalker John is not!

I Have Issues! I Have Gas!

2010-01-27T15:41:00.000-07:00

Last week I almost had a heart attack. I got my Sinclair gas card bill in the mail. It said my owed balance was over $300! But my panic was short-lived. I noticed that my previous balance of $220 had carried over onto the current bill. I paid the previous balance, but obviously not before the new bill was printed. So, I placed the bill on my desk, feeling rather relieved, and forgot about it.
Today at work I got a voice message from Connie at Sinclair Oil telling me that I had a past-due, outstanding balance and she was calling to collect payment for it. Puzzled, I called her back and explained that she was wrong. I had already paid it. I even have a confirmation number from paying on their website. I told her I would call her back when I got home and could find the confirmation number. But, being the patient person I am, I immediately checked my bank statement to see if I could figure the problem out.
Sure enough, I found the charge for $220 on the day I told her I had paid it. It was definitely a payment made to the gas company for my gas bill ... it was just paid to the WRONG gas company for the WRONG gas bill. :0 Yes, in my effort to be a responsible procrastinator and pay my bill at midnight the day it was due, I managed to pay Questar Gas $220 for a not-yet-issued-not-nearly-that-expensive gas bill. Now I have a $135 credit on my Questar Gas account and I had to swallow my pride and call Connie at Sinclair Oil back and tell her....she was right.

Potty Humor

2010-01-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

So I just went downstairs to get a drink and took a pit stop in the potty. And when I went to grab some toilet paper, out of the corner of my eye I noticed what looked like a couple of big splotches of blood on the toilet paper dispenser. AHHH! I recoiled in disgust. Then I turned to take a closer look. No, they weren't blood spots. They were dang fall leaf stickers! I guess that's what I get for working at a scrapbook empire. I'd say it scared the crap out of me, but that might be an overshare. :)

I'll Show You Physical!

2010-01-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

Today was my annual dose of public humiliation cleverly disguised as a physical. For those of you who have been subjected to one of the only remaining legal forms of torture, you will know exactly what I am talking about. However, if you have somehow through Divine intervention managed to escape the horrible, life-scarring experience, I simply have nothing to say to you. And, if you are getting a little embarrassed - you should probably stop reading now.

I woke up in a good mood - 'til I remembered. I went to the doctors office -
alone. I waited - insides writhing in horrid anticipation. They called my name - I followed the cute little friendly nurse to the torture chamber. And so it began. And even though my doctor tried to make pleasant conversation, even though she acted truly interested in my occupation and all the other boring details of my boring life, and EVEN though the cute, friendly nurse said she really liked my orange toe nails...my dignity and self-respect are nonetheless smeared all over the inside of a PAP jar.

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.

2009-12-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up so refreshed and excited for the day...that was my first clue. I was pleasantly suprised to be awake well before my alarm went off...that was my next clue. I noted that it was a bright, sunny day...that was the final clue...that's when I started to get nervous. Then I grabbed my phone to see what time it was. That's when I started freaking out. Yes, yes I had slept through my alarm! But not by a few minutes...or an hour...no, that would have been recoverable. I slept through my alarm by two and a half hours! It was 9:30!!
I was so proud of myself though - I woke up at 9:30 and I clocked in at work at exactly 9:47. That's right...I have super powers...very deeply hidden, untapped, unreachable, unbelievable super powers. But the best part of the morning was not the extra two hours of sleep, or the confidence-boosting discovery of my super human abilities - it was the fact that as late as I was...I STILL beat my boss to work. Phew! That was close.
Pretty sure I have officially crossed into the realm of 'I need seventy billion alarm clocks to make sure I don't sleep through them'. Maybe I'll get a dog...then it will lick my late morning sleep addiction away. Except, how do you turn off a dog on holidays and weekends?

Scripture Slut

2009-12-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have to admit it, I am a scripture slut. What the crap is a scripture slut you may be thinking. Well, let me enlighten you. I will have to give you some history though.

On my mission I apparently had a hot love affair with one of the elders - we shall call him Elder Untouchable. I WISH I could remember it - man, if my life had a forbidden love scene in it, I would at least like to remember it...probably will be the only one I get. Anyway, I came home...completely unaware that my mission was an epic love saga of rumors about me and Elder Untouchable. At Elder Untouchable's homecoming, another elder from the mission asked if he could clarify something he had heard about this love scandal. I said sure. This is the story he proceeded to tell me:
It was late one evening and I was at the mission office helping Elder Untouchable. President walked in and saw me sitting in a chair, Elder Untouchable standing over me ... and there was a bright lamp directly above us. Our companions were nowhere to be seen. President forthwith banned us from ever serving in the same zone again!

I still don't think I've recovered from falling off my chair laughing when he told me this. Uh, yeah...really? I must say though, whoever was the instigator of this ridiculous rumor - kudos to them for going to such painstaking effort to add the finite detail of the lamp directly above us. That's classic. Oh, and my one question would be...President could see us. Where the heck were our companions?

Anyway, moving on. I was on the phone with Elder Untouchable some time later and he told me a few more rumors (I will spare you since none of them were nearly as fantastic as the lamp story) but then he told me that apparently, during my second transfer, my companion told President in her interview that Elder Untouchable and I were, and I quote, 'Scripture Dating'. I still, and probably never will, have ANY idea what the heck scripture dating is! Scripture dating!?! Seriously!?! Oh man, that's good.

Well, when I was sharing these wonderful adventures that I never had with Jessica and Manders the other night, Jess said 'You scripture slut'. I think I am going to make me a shirt that says that. 'Proud to be a scripture slut'.

P.S. Our epic love saga ended tragically. He came home rather uneventfully and got married to someone he never even scripture dated! And now they have a beautiful little baby. Somehow I feel like I should have some battle scars or at least some memories or something...but I guess our love affair just didn't go that deep.

I can read, I can read, I can read!

2009-12-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have officially been home from my mission for 2 years, 3 months, 19 days, 1 hour and 12 minutes...well, I'm not sure if it's EXACTLY 12 minutes, it might only be 11 minutes and 37 seconds...but 12 is a rough estimate. Anyway, in these long years since the good old days in Philly, I have become extremely successful - extremely successful at forgetting my mission language that is.

Of course I still speak Spanish and due to some exciting events at work recently, the cat's out of the bag - all the Spanish people at work know that I speak their idioma. BUT I don't study in Spanish, I don't read in Spanish, heck - I don't even pray in Spanish. So to combat this horrible tragedy, I decided to start reading fiction books in Spanish. So far I have read...well, I DECIDED I was going to read already...that doesn't mean I've actually READ anything. I went to the store yesterday to pick up my first book. There was a riveting selection - Catholic religious books, five billion copies of La Santa Biblia, Twilight and two bodice rippers. Need I say that I didn't buy a book?

But...the whole point of this is to say that I realized there are benefits to paying an arm, leg, and a first born child to Provo city in taxes. I get a library card...for FREE! After work tonight (assuming that time will ever come) I am on my way to the library to show off my photo I.D. and get a library card! Then I will have absolutely no excuse for not reading in Spanish.

Disengaging My Brain

2009-11-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

I am on a conference call at work right now. I have been for the past 50 minutes and it doesn't feel like it's going to be ending any time soon. We are talking with a soon-to-be partner about an account that I am supposed to be the top dog for. And ironically enough, I honestly have no idea what these people are talking about. My boss and the two guys from the other place are going back and forth in a language I am not fluent in - in fact, I don't think I know that language at all! And it's worse because their lulling, foreign-language-speaking voices are putting me to sleep. This phone call definitely falls into the category of "That's an hour of my life I'll never get back!"

I Finally Look Like I Feel

2009-10-30T11:27:00.000-06:00

So today is the day...everyone at work is dressed up for Halloween. Well, the cool people are anyway. :) And I tell you, there are some pretty dang funny costumes. Let me share some with you.
We have your usual number of pirates, skanky dressed girls, witches and dead people. We also have several department themes going on: We have the entire Lord of the Rings cast (complete with an Ent...made from real bark; the guy's like totally a tree!), M&M's, and everyone from Alice in Wonderland. We also have Nascar drivers, some creepy clown people and a few flappers. There is a cavewoman, SuperWoman and how could I forget? Nacho Libre! But my personal favorite would have to be:
Over in Accounts Payable we have an outhouse...Yes, seriously, an outhouse. And if you open her door, you can see the toilet seat and some nice, fluffy toilet paper. She looks so good you'd be tempted to use her...well, if you were in to the whole back woods porta-potty thing instead of the nice, flush toilets down the hall. Oh, but it gets SO much better - her assistant...yeah, well...she's the poop - complete with flies. Oh man do they look hilarious!! I wish I were that creative! I am simply wearing pajamas with my pants tucked into my black socks and my white slippers. And on top of it all is an almost full length, blue, zip-up robe/mumu that I inherited when my Grandmother passed away last year. I ratted my hair and pulled a little bit of it into a messy ponytail with a rad HUGE funky colored scrunchy. And I made sure to put some super dark eyeshadow under my eyes...but the best is the sign on my back: "I finally look like I feel." Should've been an outhouse...that would have been way cooler!

Beware the Bushes

2009-10-28T10:25:00.000-06:00

My friend Alaina sent me a text message the other night. She said, and I quote, 'Maybe I shouldn't go on walks alone anymore.' I was already spending the evening with a good friend because her car had been towed and she was having a little melt down. So being keyed to disaster, this text did NOT make me very happy - in fact, I kind of freaked out a little bit. I called Alaina IMMEDIATELY to see what had happened. I was picturing her horrific story about being raped, murdered...okay, well not murdered, but otherwise seriously tortured on her pleasant evening stroll. In an effort to calm my nerves she told me the following story...I hope you find it as entertaining as I did!

She decided to go on an evening walk around the neighborhood. The cul-de-sac just down the street and around the corner happens to be where her romantic interest of the moment lives. So she naturally went walking that direction. Well, as she came to the bottom of the street, she noticed some people pulling into the driveway of said romantic interest. In fear of being seen, she hid in the playground of a nearby park. She waited, and waited, and waited some more until she was sure there was no longer any one there. So she began walking up the cul-de-sac. She reached the top and started back down the other side. Suddenly she saw people in front of the house across the street. She COULD NOT be seen (why? I have NO clue!) but she could not be seen there so she dove into the nearest clump of bushes and waited for the people to leave. Of course they saw her...not looking suspicious at all...and stared at her oddly as they drove away. She was so freaked out by the whole experience that she very quickly ended her walk and headed home. Yeah, SHE was freaked out. Can you imagine what the poor people across the street thought? Creepy! It's like a bad Halloween movie! So please, don't shoot at creepy people hiding in the bushes - it could be my good friends!!

You Know Your a Redneck If...

2009-10-26T10:35:00.000-06:00

Your camping trip turns out like mine. :)
I took my brothers on a 'Sibling Retreat' of sorts two weekends ago. We went camping in Bryce Canyon National Park for 4 days. It was great fun. We did, however, run into a few memorable stumbling blocks. Allow me to elaborate:

We brought hot dogs for dinner the first night. We had brought two camp stoves...but not the convenient kind with a cooking surface, just the kind with an open flame shooting out of the top - so we had no way to cook the hot dogs. Fortunately the fire pit had a piece of flat metal across one side so we stuck the stoves under the metal and cooked the dogs on there - thereby saving us from holding our hot dogs by one end while crisping the other end in the open flames...trying desperately to not lose digits to the fire.

While cooking our hot dogs I remembered all the things I had forgotten to bring:
- Flashlight, lantern, glow stick - anything lighted!
- Hot cocoa
- Utensils
- Plates
- Ketchup (don't worry...we hit up the fast food joints for some :))
- Cups of any kind
- Something to boil water for hot cocoa in

So the next morning, with our laundry list of things I had forgotten, we headed to the convenience store just outside the park where a pack of gum costs a year and a half salary, one toe and your first born child. We bought a can of pears...so we could eat them, wash it, and boil water 14 oz at a time in it. Next we picked up some hot cocoa packets. We snagged a few plastic utensils from the fast food section and we were on our way.
We got back to the campsite and realized, much to my dismay and my brothers amusement, that we STILL did not have any cups to drink the hot cocoa in. Nor did we have any light. And to top it off, we had killed the laptop battery watching our Veggie Tales the night before - so we were cold, cup-less, light-less, entertainment-less. But fear not! I was determined to have hot cocoa. We boiled the water in our little tin can and I took a plastic knife to my 6 oz juice box. Twenty-seven minutes later I had sawed the top off that juice box and was ready to make some hot cocoa! Then, of course, Matthew said 'oh, I have scissors. You could have used those!'...

Needless to say we bought souvenirs the third day. Want to guess what they were? You are correct - hot cocoa mugs! There were two very important things that came out of this camping trip: 1) I learned that camping, as basic as it seems, should really be reserved for people with more brain cells than me & 2) my brothers now have license to mock me for the rest of my life...to infinity and beyond!

I am NOT Addicted!

2009-10-21T13:32:00.001-06:00

So I love orange. This isn't a secret....it isn't a sin either right? Let me just tell you how much I love orange before you answer that question though. Wal-Mart (the Great and Abominable) had a fabulous 'back to the stuffy, dark dorm room' sale a few months back. So, naturally I thought it a good time to stock up on some essentials for my new place. The shopping list included:
*Orange Computer stand
*Orange trash can for the downstairs bathroom
*Orange towels - bath towels, hand towels, washclothes
*Orange Dirt Devil 5-in-1 vacuum
*Orange cups
*Orange bowls
*Orange plates
*Orange tupperware
*Orange 18 gallon storage totes
And I think there were a few more orangey things that I am forgetting.
So I thought I had my orange fix for a while....then we went to Bryce Canyon last weekend...I bought another (like my fifth) orange shirt and a sweet, mostly orange Kokopelli mug. Orange you glad you know me!?

Can I Ride in the Elelator?

2009-10-20T15:46:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I know I'm like a month behind on this whole daily blogging thing...I hope no one got their hopes up. I sure didn't. And therefore, I am NOT disappointed that I haven't blogged in forever. :) Anyway, the other day my coworker and I had a little adventure I decided was worth spreading on the internet in an effort to reassure the world of my true hair color...
We had to get a whole bunch of heavy boxes up to the office from out in the warehouse. The only easy way to do that was to load them all in the huge mail cart that was in the warehouse and wheel it to the elevator, unload it in the office, take it back downstairs on the elevator and return it to the warehouse. Well, the first part went well - we loaded, rode the elevator, unloaded and headed back downstairs. I wheeled the mail cart in first and then I got in the elevator. Wendy got in after I did and off we went. When we touched down on the ground floor Wendy got out. I turned the mail cart so I could push it out instead of pulling it and attempted to exit the elevator. Just as I got the mail cart in position in front of me there was a little whooshing sound as the elevator door closed. Wendy was on the outside and I had successfully pinned myself in the corner furthest from the 'Open Door' button thingy. Awesome!
There was now a huge metal mail cart between myself and the exit. I thought for sure Wendy would notice I was not behind her and open the door. But the door didn't open. So I started thinking....'which body parts can I sacrifice to make it over the top of this mail cart so I can push the button?' Or 'I wonder if HR will have an issue with me chilling clausterphobically in the corner for a couple of hours until someone needs the elevator and releases me?' or 'Maybe this is how I was meant to die...makes sense...awkward...alone...trapped by technology...yep, this is how I'm going to die'. My life passed before my eyes - I really tried to block it out, it was rather boring, but it was passing nonetheless before my eyes....
DING!
As the door opened, Wendy was standing there doubled over laughing hysterically. All she had to say was 'well, I HAD to laugh at you before I could let you out!' ... uh huh...she should have left me there...dying in an elevator would have been less embarrassing...plus, it would have made a killer story for my posterity. Wait...

Addicted

2009-09-23T13:59:00.000-06:00

9/22/2009 DAY TWO:

I thought I was immune to the crafting world. I thought I was strong enough to not be sucked into that vortex. Not that there's anything wrong with crafting - I have just never been crafty. I swore to my boss when I started at CX that I would never purchase supplies from our store and I would never become addicted to being crafty. Well, needless to say, here I sit a year later with over $500 of crafting materials on the table behind me. Yeah, we're not even going to go there.

My most recent (well, almost most recent...)purchase was the Cricut Expression machine. I finally broke down and bought one of my very own - even though I have one on my desk at work and play with it for hours every day and I do spend more time at work than I do at home so you would think I don't need my own...but I do. Last night I showed the kids how to work the Cricut and just let them go at it. I was thinking they would keep it simple and just play around with it for an hour or so....Six hours later - they had created a full-blown Harry Potter paper doll set, complete with all the characters from the books, all the scenery in the books and movies and all of the accessories you could possibly imagine. They told me this morning that they don't want to call or play with friends at all this week - they just want to play with the Cricut. I hope I have enough in savings to support their growing paper needs!! They might need some serious addiction recovery counseling when their parents get home.
The Moral of the Story: Don't just become addicted to something yourself, make sure you take the Bishops kids down with you.

The Beginning of The End

2009-09-22T13:57:00.000-06:00

This week I have inherited three children...I am not babysitting because there is no baby and there is DEFINITELY no sitting! I am watching the three oldest kids of my parents bishop while he and his wife are in Hawaii for 8 days - I am still trying to figure out why I didn't volunteer to be their luggage carrier instead. So this week, since I get off at 12:30 every day and they don't get home until 2:30, I shall use that brief moment in time to narrate the sure to come adventures of the week.

09/21/2009 DAY ONE:

I decided to be diplomatic and ask the kids what they wanted to do for family night. In all my years of overnight babysitting I have found a foolproof equation with Utah County children: Mom and Dad are gone + the babysitter can drive + Mom and Dad left lots of money = CHUCK E CHEESE! It never fails. So I didn't even bat an eye when they came up with that one all on their own. I did, however, start to panic a little on the car ride to Chuck E Cheese - I mean, these are the BISHOPS kids and I'm supposed to teach them something worthwhile and uplifting for family night...how to eat pizza? No. How to yell louder than all the other kids in the restaurant? No. How to become obsessive gamblers? Probably shouldn't.

It ended better than expected though - we talked about choice and accountability. We even managed to get a scripture on the subject in. :) Now, instead of sounding like I prepared their children for a trip to the Las Vegas Strip - I'll sound like I spent hours preparing a killer object lesson to teach an important principle. SCORE!

Toilet Trivia

2009-09-01T11:08:00.000-06:00

So my house now officially has no toilets. That is NOT super cool when you go to work there for long stretches at a time. And I was talking to a friend the other day, explaining this rather awkward situation and he told me to just go out back, behind the bushes. Well, there are only two GIGANTIC problems with that - first, it's not so easy for us girls to just squat where we stand....and that's if we're even talented enough to squat anywhere at all! And secondly, we cut down the trees and pulled out all the bushes in the whole yard...yeah, I'm thinking I'll walk to the gas station and save my neighbors the trouble of calling the cops to report our indecent exposure.

Gagging on My Paycheck

2009-08-30T18:54:00.000-06:00

I got my check from the Government - I was a little nervous after the Cash for Clunkers thing went so well. But, it finally arrived. But have you ever noticed how much money and water have in common? Try to get a good grip on water - I dare you. Well, my money seems to have the same problem - it runs through my fingers and is gone before I realize I had it. But I did learn something new this week, and it's a good piece of financial wisdom: If you put $8,000 to the bank so it will earn interest, but you try to be responsible and pay off your credit card and then spend $1,700 per trip to Home Depot, there is seriously NO gain on that investment. I should have just got it all back in cash and stuffed it in my matress...just as long as it wasn't an air matress.

Victory is MINE!

2009-08-29T18:47:00.000-06:00

Yesterday (while I was at the temple)my brother finished painting over all the peanut butter walls in the kitchen. YAY! I am excited for two reasons:
1) I LOVE the color on the walls now - maybe just because it is NOT peanut butter and maybe the rest of the world will think it is awful - oh well. But seriously, I love the new color and I'm totally stoked to paint the rest of my house.
2) I got to have a wonderful, spiritual, relaxing evening at the temple with a good friend while my house was being painted :) And by the time I got home from the temple, all of the work was finished and there was even fresh, hot pizza for me! They always say 'No pain, no gain'....well, I guess I proved them wrong! The world would do well to remember my motto in life: "I ALWAYS get what I want" - with a submotto something along the lines of 'I'm not conceited, I'm just worth it.' :)